My Grumps


  • Ramp bastards. Those who drive on the shoulder, in the carpool lane, or otherwise zoom to the front during any merge situation on the freeway. These are closely related to the bus bastards who cut to the front of the line when other people have obviously been waiting for the bus for some time.
  • Close talkers. Please step away, before I cut your femoral and leave you to the dogs.
  • Protestant Work Ethic Martinets. These are the people who take their shitty, meaningless jobs far too seriously and make their coworkers lives miserable in the process. It’s really. not. worth. all. the. drama.


Business Practices

Names my children will not have

    AKA the “maybe I just hate British names” list. This prohibition includes all variations of the names unless otherwise specified.

  • A – Ashley, Ashton, Abigail. Anything found in this book.
  • B – Brit(t)ney
  • C – Chandler
  • N – Nigel
  • P – Prescott, Preston
  • T – Thomas