The first minute is an all-time classic. Loooove it.

Web users, the meter is running. In a strategy that’s likely to rankle consumers but be copied by competitors, Time Warner Cable (TWC) is pressing ahead with a plan to charge Internet customers based on how much Web data they consume. Starting next month, the company will introduce tiered pricing in several markets.
…
In the case of Time Warner Cable, customers will be charged from $29.95 to $54.90 a month, based on data consumption and desired connection speed. Customers will be charged $1 for each gigabyte (GB) over their plan’s cap. Time Warner Cable offers four cap levels of 5, 10, 20, and 40 GB.

40GB as the top tier? Assuming I want to watch my Netflix and grab my typical monthly email load, I’ll be over 40GB in the first month. And that’s not even talking about any torrent joy, which of course I would never do, particularly with full DVD rips at 8.4GB each.

Those are some bullshit tiers, with ridiculously low data limits. If your infrastructure is that loaded, buy some new switches, but 40GB? You are seriously abusing your near monopoly control over broadband access. In theory, I have no problem with tiering for high usage users in a realm of areas, but (assuming arguendo that it applies here, which it does not), you can’t set the range from retirees checking their email accounts to retirees who know what a computer is checking their email and expect that to fly. (Note: I’m assuming there are provisions for libraries and other public places which will be exempted or otherwise not gouged. Home offices and nonprofits are fucked though.)

The problem is that the internet doesn’t get clogged by people sucking from the pipe too much - that’s a meatspace analogy that does not hold up in this realm (caveat: I’m greatly simplifying here). Instead all of the costs for providing bandwidth are done up front with the purchase of the routers, switches, and the like. After that, it does not matter if a billion bits or no bits are coming through - the cost to the business is the same. Now, the only time a cap is relevant is if you are constantly maxing out your equipment. In the real world, too much demand is a good thing - you’re popular, you have more people signing on, you buy more retail space to accommodate your customer base. TWC apparently thinks high capacity = a problem of too many customers. Are we sure the GM folk did not just transition over?

Long story much shorter: I think this is a bald play by TWC to try and effectively get around the Net Neutrality issue via pricing rather than packet filtering. Now instead of locking their users into walled gardens technologically (want to see your hidef Hulu? Sign up with AOL!), they’ll do it with a pricing tier (want to see your hidef Hulu? Sign up with our fancy broadband tier!). I don’t think their plan will accomplish what they think it will and will instead have significant regressive effects and/or opting for other broadband options.

So… say hello to (the reportedly bad) AT&T UVerse, possibly Direct TV … no on Clearwire in Austin … jesus, this country’s broadband infrastructure is pathetic. Just pathetic. We pay more for less than anywhere else. Just like healthcare. Fuck you, TWC.

Have I mentioned that tiered usage is an obsolete business model that has no place in the 21st century internet, where people are downloading the Daily Show while podcasting their analysis of the simulcast highdef All the Single Ladies danceoffs? I did? Oh.

Update: Oh hells, yes. Suck it, Time Warner! You surrendicans!

Time Warner Cable has shelved plans to test consumption-based billing until it can improve its “customer education process,” the company announced Thursday.

“It is clear from the public response over the last two weeks that there is a great deal of misunderstanding about our plans to roll out additional tests on consumption based billing,” Time Warner CEO Glen Britt said in a statement. “As a result, we will not proceed with implementation of additional tests until further consultation with our customers and other interested parties, ensuring that community needs are being met.”

There’s an easy way to not pay the bonuses, there is good legal footing to deny them. What is lacking is political will. Let’s help those spineless twerps in DC out.

I should note that there are rumors that if the bonuses aren’t paid, the managers (or the French, it’s unclear) will declare a default event and trigger hundreds of billions of dollars more to come due. To which I say to the AIG management: bullshit. Go ahead and try it and take your economic terrorism elsewhere. Go Galt on us, please, you worthless shitbags.

Team Obama needs to get out in front of this. It’s a position so easy to spot that even Bill Kristol can see it, and if Obama doesn’t deny the bonuses, then they just gave the GOP a 300 pound birthday cake. With balloons.

According to the FBI report, which was originally posted online by WikiLeaks, an organization that posts leaked documents, police also found a National Socialist Movement membership application filled out by Cummings. The NSM currently is the largest neo-Nazi organization in the country, with 69 chapters in 30 states.

Amber Cummings reportedly told police that her husband was “very upset” over Barack Obama being elected president, had been in contact with white supremacist groups, and that he’d been mixing chemicals in their kitchen sink while talking about dirty bombs

Imagine if it were a Republican president and Cummings was named Garcia or Sharif.

Oh, wait, I know why… let’s talk about steroids and LiLo’s new lips. Muuuuch more important these days, because everyone knows there’s no such thing as domestic terrorism.

Nevada resident Margaret Frye-Jackman, 71, was diagnosed in August with ovarian cancer. She had two rounds of chemotherapy at University Medical Center, the only public hospital in the Las Vegas area.

Soon after, she and her daughter heard the news on TV: The hospital’s outpatient oncology services were closing because of state Medicaid cuts. Treatment for Frye-Jackman and hundreds of other cancer patients was eliminated.

You got that? Public services for urgent medical care are being cut … and still the GOP fiddles and argues for tax cuts. If ever there were a group of more amoral, corrupt, soulless bunch of shitheads outside of collapse-of-Rome, I just can’t imagine.

Instead of getting rolled and creating a “bipartisan” bill that the GOP is going to vote against anyway, why not, you know, be proactive and aggressive? The GOP will not support this bill because if it works, it’s Obama’s bill, and if it fails (which is what they are hoping for - who cares what happens to the country, their only path back to power is if we’re in the shitter in 2010 and 2012) they don’t want to have voted for it.

So here’s my proposal:

Obama to GOP: OK, the bill is too expensive? We’ll eliminate all the tax cuts. Now you’re down to a $500B stimulus package.

GOP to Obama: *head explodes*

The Democrats and Obama on this issue have been an embarrassment. Going from record high approvals, a clear mandate, and a tide of victory to getting their asses handed to them in parliamentary games and disappearing from the media during this entire debate is fucking ridiculous. The GOP is entirely controlling the narrative of this bill now - they own the media and are just slaughtering what we here still like to refer to as “reality” and “reason.” It’s like the past 8 years never happened.

The Dems are an absurd party fully of namby pambies with no spine. It’s infuriating. But at least they’re not Republicans.

In sum: tell the GOP to stuff it and do what’s right. It’s the best way forward.

Four forensic pathologists agree that Larry Swearingen, set to be executed Tuesday, could not have committed the 1998 murder that sent him to death row.

The four include the medical examiner whose testimony helped secure Swearingen’s guilty verdict. That medical examiner now says college student Melissa Trotter’s curiously preserved body could not have lain in the East Texas woods for more than 14 days — and probably was there for a much shorter time.

The results mean Swearingen was in jail when the 19-year-old’s body was left behind, the pathologists say.

At the least there is significant objective doubt as to whether or not Swearingen could have committed this murder. All attempts to have the courts review this evidence or reconsider have fallen upon deaf ears. It is now down to appeals to mercy from a hangin’ Republican in order to extinguish all options.

Update: Fed court intervenes, grants appeal, execution is stayed. Fantastic!

When we look back on this, I think Obama will be a turning point for many things. Besides the obvious racial acceptance, generational, and maturity he represents, Obama stands, right now, as the perfect - and first - post-Nixon president of optimism. And that lack of cynicism is a fresh breeze I’m going to relax in and enjoy for a bit.

Then it’s on to the war crimes tribunals for the Busheviks.

New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson on Sunday announced that he was withdrawing his nomination to be President-elect Barack Obama’s commerce secretary amid a grand jury investigation into how some of his political donors won a lucrative state contract.

I’ll bet you the beard restart is in full swing, though.

Sen. Joseph Lieberman (I-Conn.) easily won a vote to remain chairman of a key committee today and will stay in the Democratic caucus despite his high-profile criticism of President-elect Barack Obama and his support of Sen. John McCain during the presidential campaign.

To recap: Lieberman actively campaigns against the Democratic president, up to and including implications that he may be a terrorist, undermines the last Democratic president at every turn, is defeated in the Democratic primary and runs on an “independent” ticket, and is the #1 supporter of Bush on the “Democratic” side. Lieberman is also the head of one of the most important Senate committees around (Homeland Security), where he has yet to conduct a single investigation or question the administration.

Democrats win both houses of Congress and the Presidency in a landslide and do not need Lieberman’s vote.

Do the Democrats kick him from the Committee chair? Do they refuse to let him caucus with them?

No.

Lieberman retains everything.

Jesus fuck, Dems, can you possibly be any more of a collection of wimps? He actively attempted to destroy your party.

Lesson to be learned: senators hate the Left and outsiders far more than they hate being stabbed in the back.

Oh, what I wouldn’t give for an actual party with some balls and the ability to enact progressive legislation.

Just fucking shameful.

A few things:

a) Luke Russert. Mmmm… nepotism. Look, I’m sorry his dad died, but Luke sucks, brings nothing to the table, and has horrible hair. Fuck this shit.

b) From the reaction, I’m preeeeeeetty sure Luke and the victory hookup had already hit it.

c) Nice job, Brian! That was the best scolding-slash-breakup inducing moment ever. Ev-er.

d) I totally love how the entire crowd runs away from Luke like he’s a oily little droplet in their bucket of water. The frustrated and lonely chagrin on Luke’s face is priceless. This is precisely how he would have been treated if his dad dad daddy-o weren’t Tim Russert. Looooove it.

Oh, and since I’ve been too busy with other things to post during this epochal event - Sarah, your God has done what’s right for America. Now STFU and get back to your low-grade tyrannical corruption.

VARGAS: But the point being that you haven’t been so bruised by some of the double standard, the sexism on the campaign trail, to say, “I’ve had it. I’m going back to Alaska.”

PALIN: Absolutely not. I think that, if I were to give up and wave a white flag of surrender against some of the political shots that we’ve taken, that … that would … bring this whole … I’m not doin’ this for naught.

As a side note, the entire circular firing squad in the GOP rat’s nest going on right now is a thing of beauty. This massive implosion, embarrassment, and extreme displays of cowardice couldn’t happen to a nicer bunch of choda scrubbers. That Palin has gone rogue and is using McCain’s carcass for a national run and that McCain obviously blames her for everything up to and including the soon-to-be loss (except, of course, for his pick of her in the first place) is just icing on the cake.

Stay classy, GOP.

A phony State Board of Elections flier advising Republicans to vote on Nov. 4 and Democrats on Nov. 5 is being circulated in several Hampton Roads localities, according to state elections officials.

This happens every cycle - some flier comes out in minority/black/poor neighborhoods either giving a wrong location, date, or threats of arrest/seizure/investigation should the darkies show up.

and remember, change means …. BLACK!!!!!

1) Who do you think is going to win the election?

A) John McCain: 53% (39)
B) Barack Obama: 47% (34)

2) Do you think Sarah Palin has been a plus or a minus to the ticket?

A) Minus: 9% (7)
B) Plus: 91% (68)

3) How do you feel about Sarah Palin as a candidate?

A) I really like her!: 80% (61)
B) She’s so-so.: 12% (9)
C) I’m not a big fan!: 8% (6)

4) The Republican Party did poorly in the 2006 election and even if McCain wins is on track to do poorly again in this year’s Congressional races. If you had to choose between these two options, do you think that’s because they were…

A) Too conservative: 9% (7)
B) Not conservative enough: 91% (67)

5) Do you believe the mainstream media’s coverage has been…

A) Relatively fair and even handed.: 0% (0)
B) Slightly biased in favor of Barack Obama.: 4% (3)
C) Slightly biased in favor of John McCain.: 0% (0)
D) Heavily biased in favor of Barack Obama.: 96% (72)
E) Heavily biased in favor of John McCain.: 0% (0)

6) Do you think Barack Obama is…

A) Honest (Yes or no?)

Yes: 11% (8)
No: 89% (66)

B) Patriotic (Yes or no?)

Yes: 24% (18)
No: 76% (57)

C) Qualified to be President (Yes or no?)

Yes: 12% (9)
No: 88% (66)

Guaranteed permanent Democrat majority!

That’s also the first indication I’ve seen that Thandie Newton can act.

U.S. Senator Ted Stevens was convicted of all seven felony charges of failing to report gifts from a company in his home state of Alaska, a possibly fatal blow to the career of the Senate’s longest-serving Republican.

A campaign worker who claimed she was the victim of a politically-motivated attack in which she was beaten, kicked and cut, now admits that she made the whole story up.

According to Pittsburgh police spokeswoman Diane Richard, Ashley Todd, 20, told investigators today that she “was not robbed and there was no 6′4″ black male attacker.”

Todd initially told police that she was robbed at an ATM in Bloomfield Wednesday night and that the suspect began beating her after seeing a John McCain bumper sticker on her car.

Todd claimed that the mugger even cut a backwards letter “B” in her check.

But today investigators say Todd confessed that the attack never happened.

At a news conference this afternoon, officials said they believe that Todd’s injuries were self-inflicted.

What a dumbass. A dumbass with issues. Get some therapy before you waste the world’s time again.

Update: Dude. I was totally first.

Update 2: Peter Feldman is the new Al Sharpton.

John McCain’s Pennsylvania communications director told reporters in the state an incendiary version of the hoax story about the attack on a McCain volunteer well before the facts of the case were known or established — and even told reporters outright that the “B” carved into the victim’s cheek stood for “Barack,” according to multiple sources familiar with the discussions.

I can’t believe the McCain campaign was pushing this turd of a story that didn’t pass the sniff test from the get go. Wait, what am I saying? Of course they pushed the story!

Unless you’re having an affair on your yacht with a model (and given that flag-draped picture and Palin’s known indiscretions, she might have been), there’s no way that look plays in the Halls of Power.

In all fairness, her outfits are totally appropriate for Alaska. That pink thing is probably Eskimo-wear, and the rest all look like typical mom/cold/outdoorsy stuff and completely unobjectionable.

But I thought that focusing on Satan’s outerwear would make for a nice change of pace.