Grumpasaurus.com » Football

Brady

Grumpy — Sat, 02 Dec 2006 21:02:25 +0000

I’m not a football fan by any means, but this is funny. It also made me reconsider my sexual orientation.

I wish I knew how to quit you, Brady.

I’m a tight end
but I hope one day
to be your wide receiver
how I long for you to hit meeeee
in the slot

Genius!

Spread the lurve:

Democra… touchdowwwwwwn!!!!

Grumpy — Sun, 12 Nov 2006 23:11:20 +0000

There are still 8 House races undecided. I’m glad to see that the one in Ohio is getting the proper, serious attention that the election deserves and our democracy demands.

In the Columbus, Ohio-area, elections officials are delaying the count of more than 9,000 provisional ballots by one day so it doesn’t disrupt the much-vaunted Michigan-Ohio State football game on Nov. 18.

Plus, football sucks. If baseball were still ongoing in November, then this might be acceptable.

Spread the lurve:

WWZD?

Grumpy — Sun, 09 Jul 2006 17:43:39 +0000

I was just wondering, could the announcers or anchors discussing the World Cup please mention the mastery and artistry and awesomeness of Zindedine Zidane one more time?

Jebus, that’s all they talk about, and it’s been going on all series. It’s got to be a directive from the top. It’s one of the defining characteristics of American sports coverage that every game is made a battle between two Personalities… even if you have to make that Personality. This leads to ridiculous things like “Ivan Rodriguez brings his Tigers to Seattle to take on Ichiro and the Mariners!”

You know, once you notice these things, they get really fucking annoying.

Anyway, Zidane’s great but enough already. He’s not a dessert topping and a floor wax.

Update: it’s even worse than before. I think the announcers are forbidden from going more than 30 seconds without mentioning some aspect of Zidane. Like his awesome fruit salad.

Update 2: ~~Jesus~~ Zidane totally suckerheadbutted this guy and got kicked out of the game. In overtime. Way to help out your ~~country~~ team, ~~Jesus~~ Zidane.

Update 3: Here’s the suckerheadbutt

Spread the lurve:

World Cup 1944

Grumpy — Wed, 05 Jul 2006 21:43:34 +0000

It’s the cheese-eating surrender monkeys versus the country that never finished a war on the same side it began!

Woohoo! Hooray for history-based unfunny jokes!

Spread the lurve:

World Cup 1940

Grumpy — Sat, 01 Jul 2006 05:40:04 +0000

The possibility exists, based on tomorrow’s matches, that the quarterfinals of the 2006 World Cup will feature Germany v. Italy in one match and England v. France in the other.

Axis v. Allies time, baby!

Brazil might have something to say about that, of course, but the Axis side is already complete.

Update: OK, Portugal might have something to say about that too. But we’ve still got the Axis!

Spread the lurve:

What rhymes with poke?

Grumpy — Thu, 22 Jun 2006 19:22:27 +0000

Team USA

There was no glory for the United States at this year’s World Cup, only frustration and failure.

Done in by their own mistakes, the Americans lost to Ghana 2-1 Thursday in a game they had to win to advance past the tournament’s first round.

So much for the #5 team in the world. Nice job, guys. Way to play horribly and stifle growth of the sport in this country. Jeez, what an embarassment. 1998 all over again… played with no desire, no spark, no heart. The stealth team came in cocky and got waxed. Where’s the scrappy underdog menality?

Spread the lurve: