I’m not a football fan by any means, but this is funny. It also made me reconsider my sexual orientation.
I wish I knew how to quit you, Brady.
I’m a tight end
but I hope one day
to be your wide receiver
how I long for you to hit meeeee
in the slot
Genius!
Well, the BoSox are paying $51.1M to talk to the best free agent pitcher available this offseason. Is he worth the 80-90 million he’s going to cost? Quite possibly. When you add together that his translated stats are better than Clemens’ over the past 3 years and the increase in money from Japanese marketing and that he’s only 26 and can still improve… I could see the deal working out. It’s possible that he tanks or gets hurt, of course, but I think from a business standpoint, he’s at least a break even proposition (and that’s not even getting to the marginal monetary value of the wins that he brings to the table).
A Matsuzaka-Schilling-Beckett front three would be pretty impressive (if flyball heavy), especially for a team that has poor OF defense. We don’t know who the Sox are going to put in the corners, but let’s assume Manny and a slugger leaving mediocre+ Crisp in center. That’s… somewhat troublesome, but not overly so for such a K-heavy top three.
Anyway, who cares about that. Let’s see how he pitches!
Slider:
The infamous gyroball:
If you’re in a fantasy league next year, I recommend trash talking and comparing him to Irabu. Then picking him up on the cheap.
There are still 8 House races undecided. I’m glad to see that the one in Ohio is getting the proper, serious attention that the election deserves and our democracy demands.
In the Columbus, Ohio-area, elections officials are delaying the count of more than 9,000 provisional ballots by one day so it doesn’t disrupt the much-vaunted Michigan-Ohio State football game on Nov. 18.
Plus, football sucks. If baseball were still ongoing in November, then this might be acceptable.
You’re going to skip the best free agent pitcher on the market in order to pursue an obviously decline-phase Schmidt and a never-was mediocrity in Eaton?
OK, then.
Update: it’s official.
Idiots. The M’s need an ace, it’s their biggest glaring weakness. The best FA pitcher on the market is Matsuzaka. ergo… let’s go for Eaton!
Say you’re the best team, by far, in the NL all season long.
How then, do you get to the point, where your year is going to be determined by one start from Ollie Perez?
That’s got to sting a bit.
Yeah, I know. It’s like they’ve learned nothing from the past six years. Rooting for the Democrats is like being a pre-2004 Red Sox fan. But wait, there’s some hope.
Sadly, No! Rooting for the Democrats is like being a Chicago Cubs fan, with trend lines towards Kansas City Royals.
John Patterson, the talented but increasingly “rarely healthy”-labelled starting pitcher for the Nationals is likely done for the season. How does he feel about it? Let’s listen to John…
“This is not career-ending,” Patterson said. “Is it disappointing? Yeah. Does it mess up my season? Yeah. Did I have better hopes for this season? Absolutely. So did everybody. It just didn’t happen this year.
Maybe living in proximity to the Pentagon does this to people? I’ll bet you he knows exactly where his UCL is, it’s in the area of his elbow and east, west, south, and north somewhat.
In June 2006 we began receiving purported reproductions of a correspondence between a New York Yankees club official and former Yankees slugger Mickey Mantle. It consisted of a form letter (linked above) sent by the Yankees to a number of former players in
1972, requesting that each recipient — in anticipation of a 1973 oldtimers game that would mark the 50th anniversary of Yankee Stadium — indicate what he considered his “outstanding event” at that ballpark…
Here’s the letter. You really have to read it to fully appreciate it’s awesomeness.
And, no, I don’t care if it’s later determined to be apocryphal.[fn1] Also, I’m totally stealing his closing line when someone asks me a question to which I don’t know the answer.
[fn1] I think it’s apocryphal. The size of the story is too perfect and too perfectly sized, with too zinger-y of a punchline to be real. Still, good joke. If they’d have said Earl Weaver, I would have believed them.
I was just wondering, could the announcers or anchors discussing the World Cup please mention the mastery and artistry and awesomeness of Zindedine Zidane one more time?
Jebus, that’s all they talk about, and it’s been going on all series. It’s got to be a directive from the top. It’s one of the defining characteristics of American sports coverage that every game is made a battle between two Personalities… even if you have to make that Personality. This leads to ridiculous things like “Ivan Rodriguez brings his Tigers to Seattle to take on Ichiro and the Mariners!”
You know, once you notice these things, they get really fucking annoying.
Anyway, Zidane’s great but enough already. He’s not a dessert topping and a floor wax.
Update: it’s even worse than before. I think the announcers are forbidden from going more than 30 seconds without mentioning some aspect of Zidane. Like his awesome fruit salad.
Update 2: Jesus Zidane totally suckerheadbutted this guy and got kicked out of the game. In overtime. Way to help out your country team, Jesus Zidane.
Update 3: Here’s the suckerheadbutt
It’s the cheese-eating surrender monkeys versus the country that never finished a war on the same side it began!
Woohoo! Hooray for history-based unfunny jokes!
The possibility exists, based on tomorrow’s matches, that the quarterfinals of the 2006 World Cup will feature Germany v. Italy in one match and England v. France in the other.
Axis v. Allies time, baby!
Brazil might have something to say about that, of course, but the Axis side is already complete.
Update: OK, Portugal might have something to say about that too. But we’ve still got the Axis!
Brett Myers will take a leave of absence from the Phillies through the All-Star break to focus on personal matters following his arrest on assault charges against his wife.
On top of injuries to Sheffield, Crisp, Sheets, Gagne, Encarnacion, Edmonds, and did I mention Sheffield?… you get a wifebeater who needs a leave of absence? YARG!
When Rowdy Roddy Piper coldcocked Superfly Snuka with a coconut. What a glorious day for fake entertainment the WWF.
Update it appears that YouTube is killing my feeds in their entirety (not just the offending posts). This sucks, but the solution doesn’t appear trivial, so I’ll be linking to YouTube instead of displaying here for a while. Well, the solution appears trivial, but validator’s still flagging object tags as invalid, so… FU, validator. You little bitch.
There was no glory for the United States at this year’s World Cup, only frustration and failure.
Done in by their own mistakes, the Americans lost to Ghana 2-1 Thursday in a game they had to win to advance past the tournament’s first round.
So much for the #5 team in the world. Nice job, guys. Way to play horribly and stifle growth of the sport in this country. Jeez, what an embarassment. 1998 all over again… played with no desire, no spark, no heart. The stealth team came in cocky and got waxed. Where’s the scrappy underdog menality?