Aug 04

Correlation, meet causation

McSame edition, number 5012

Ten senior Hess Corporation executives and/or members of the Hess family each gave $28,500 to the joint RNC-McCain fundraising committee, just days after McCain reversed himself to favor offshore drilling, according to Federal Election Commission reports.

Nine of these contributions, seven from Hess executives and two from members of the Hess family, came on the same day, June 24th, the records show. The total collected in the wake of McCain’s reversal for the fund, called McCain Victory 2008, from Hess execs and family is $285,000.

Aug 01

Clark for Veep

Sign the petition. Clark is far and away the best choice available and Obama’s ditching him when Clark had the temerity to say that getting shot down may a hero make but is not presidential.

Sebelius would be the #2. If it’s anti-choice Kaine, that’s just pukerrific.

Aug 01

TAEE pt. 5

Hahahaha! Awesome. Actual McCain ad:

I couldn’t really tell if this was aimed at racists, christianists, or Matrix fans, but it fails on at least two of those fronts in discouraging people from voting for Obama. In a country filled with christianists eagerly awaiting the rapture, AKA the GOP base, do they really think the Obamessiah message is in any way an “attack”? In a battle of scary black man v. my gawd is teh awesome, who wins?

McCain’s got nuthin. Nuthin!

(side note: the “quote” of Barack’s in the ad is misleadingly cropped)

Jul 25

Tell me again

why Wesley Clark isn’t the already-named veep (or candidate for that matter).

Screw those professional concern trolls and hanky-waving media McSame enablers, Clark needs to be out there.

Side note: I can’t believe this passes for “confusing” to the media or what we consider “high level discourse” today. JFC, how is it not patently obvious that each person argues for the “best solution” relative to their position X, and when someone says I understand, but my concerns are Y (some superset of X) that they are acknowledging this? Let me rephrase to the msnbc host: if you don’t understand that executives need to make decisions while balancing competing interests, you need to be paid less until you do understand.

Jul 13

TAEE pt 4

Did I mention this is going to be the awesomest election ever? Because it is. Behold as the New Yorker channels the wingnut zeitgeist!

Fuck the new yorker

Now I want a McCain edition. Just show the Grim Reaper, that’ll be best.

To be clear: the above is clearly satire… it’s just poorly done, unfunny, and unimaginative. You know, like the typical dreck you find in the excruciatingly unentertaining New Yorker.

Update:
x

I’ll give the nutters at NatRev $50 if they run a similar cover.

To actually be analytical, though, Horsey gets it wrong as well even in his satirical response. For example, Osama is the enemy of all Americans, hero to none; Cheney is the enemy of thinking Americans, but hero to many. Not to mention that the counter response to the Obama outrage always, always ignores the actual and continuing impact of race and gender and the tyranny of the dominant class upon the marginalized groups. Anyway, enough of the critical thinking, fuck the New Yorker for being a bunch of socially rigid ponces.

Update: Here’s how it’s done.

Update: Vanity Fair responds
mccain vf cover

Jun 19

Most Awesome Election Ever pt 2

Inspired by Pat Buchanan calling Obama “exotic,” I’ve decided to come up with Obama’s campaign slogan for him. Right now, I’m debating between:

  • I’m gonna get you suckas!
  • When I see a ghost, I cut the mothafucka
  • Eat it, whitey!
  • See you around, Super Honkie!
  • Obama 2008… can you dig it?
  • Who’s the black private dick / That’s a sex machine to all the chicks? / OBAMA! / Ya damn right!
    Who is the man that would risk his neck / For his brother man? / OBAMA! / Can you dig it?
    Who’s the cat that won’t cop out / When there’s danger all about? / OBAMA! / Right On!
    They say this cat Obama is a bad mother… / SHUT YOUR MOUTH! / I’m talkin’ ’bout Obama. / THEN WE CAN DIG IT!
  • Best. Election. Ever.

    Fear of a Barack planet

    Jun 17

    If we had a decent media, this wouldn’t be web-only

    McCain’s calling of his second wife (the rich one, the one he dumped his faithful poor one for after she stayed true to him while he was a POW and after she got into a disfiguring car accident. Oh, also, Cindy McCain is a plagiarist passing off stolen recipes as her own)… anyway, McCain called his second and current wife a “cunt.” I shit you not.

    Now, a fun exercise in the imagination: imagine if Barack had called Michelle that. Imagine how many times you would have heard that (approximately 7 million until Clinton sealed the nom, would be my guess).

    Jun 17

    Not Alex

    The most powerful (in focus group testing) anti-McCain ad so far.

    Works for me. Then again, I was against that narcissistic idiotic septuagenarian warmongering rageaholic before any advert. Good times.

    May 17

    Chris Matthews moment of semi-redemption

    Matthews is horrid – pro-GOP, seriously misogynistic – but this bit here has some slight redemptive value.

    Matthews (finally) questions a pinhead wingnut on what is meant by one of their trigger phrases they spew around, here it’s “appeasement.” Naturally, the wingnut has no clue what it means… but it doesn’t stop him. from screaming his ignorance at the top of his lungs.

    So good job, Chris. Make sure you follow up with McCain, mm’k?

    May 14

    In case you missed it

    Fafblog is back. It’s been back for a while, but without much fanfare and prior to Giblets and the Medium Lobster’s transit into the great wilderness, it was one of the best sites on the net. Except for that whole color-scheme-that-makes-your-eyes-bleed bit.

    Anyway, today Fafnir did an interview with Hillary.

    FB: Now, back when your husband was president he cut nine million poor women and children off welfare. But now you’re the candidate of women and poor people and poor workin women. So did you approve of what your husband did at the time, and if not are you going to reverse it as president and give all those poor people their money back?

    CLINTON: Ha haaa! That’s an excellent question, Fafnir, and the only way to answer it is with a hearty chuckle followed by a complete non sequitur!

    FB: Ha ha, that is so true!

    CLINTON: You know, I wish I could make all those women’s lives better, I really do. But in a way, wouldn’t it help all of them even more if we could just make one woman’s life a whole lot better, and then say it sort of counts towards all those other women who aren’t getting anything? And wouldn’t it be even better-er if that one woman was me?

    FB: You know, you just can’t argue with that math! Now are you running for president of Iraq, too? Because then your vote for the war totally makes sense!

    CLINTON: I didn’t vote for the war, Fafnir. I voted to give the president the authority to go to war. What was he going to use that authority for? Maybe he’d just frame it and hang it in his office. Maybe he’d use it to prop up one of the legs on his desk. Maybe he’d use it to sing songs and dance jigs and lift weary spirits down at the old folks home! I honestly couldn’t say!

    FB: If only you knew at the time that that devious George Bush would use a war authorization to authorize a war!

    CLINTON: You know, I guess I’m just too giving. Maybe I just love my country too much to deny it the universal health care and endless wars it so desperately needs. Maybe some theoretical secret black Muslim who hates America wouldn’t have that problem.

    Awesome. Also, brutal.

    Apr 15

    More like this, please

    While the media lovefest of McCain continues unabated and Hilary destroys any lingering good feelings I had for the Clintons or appreciation for her achievements by handing the election to McCain, Obama’s still runnin a classy campaign. I may not agree with all of his policy positions or philosophies, but he’s definitely running a praiseworthy campaign.

    For a secret muslim, marxist, manchurian candidate, fag, that is.