We all knew that, but here’s an actual outline on the teevee.

If it wasn’t for Maddow and the Daily Show, though, all you’d have are endless parades of batshit angry/insane people yelling at Democratic congresscritters in the town halls.

My optimism that we’ll actually get what the vast majority of actual people want – health care for all – is exceedingly slim. Our idiot media and the querulous Dems are too easily rolled by the astroturfing. Oh, and the strongest voting block in the country – seniors – already has government health care that they love. They have no incentive to give what they have to the younger folk and if they’re not on board, it’s a tough road to hoe. I can’t wait until the most narcissistic generation in our nation’s history reaches retirement age.

According to the FBI report, which was originally posted online by WikiLeaks, an organization that posts leaked documents, police also found a National Socialist Movement membership application filled out by Cummings. The NSM currently is the largest neo-Nazi organization in the country, with 69 chapters in 30 states.

Amber Cummings reportedly told police that her husband was “very upset” over Barack Obama being elected president, had been in contact with white supremacist groups, and that he’d been mixing chemicals in their kitchen sink while talking about dirty bombs

Imagine if it were a Republican president and Cummings was named Garcia or Sharif.

Oh, wait, I know why… let’s talk about steroids and LiLo’s new lips. Muuuuch more important these days, because everyone knows there’s no such thing as domestic terrorism.

A few things:

a) Luke Russert. Mmmm… nepotism. Look, I’m sorry his dad died, but Luke sucks, brings nothing to the table, and has horrible hair. Fuck this shit.

b) From the reaction, I’m preeeeeeetty sure Luke and the victory hookup had already hit it.

c) Nice job, Brian! That was the best scolding-slash-breakup inducing moment ever. Ev-er.

d) I totally love how the entire crowd runs away from Luke like he’s a oily little droplet in their bucket of water. The frustrated and lonely chagrin on Luke’s face is priceless. This is precisely how he would have been treated if his dad dad daddy-o weren’t Tim Russert. Looooove it.

Oh, and since I’ve been too busy with other things to post during this epochal event – Sarah, your God has done what’s right for America. Now STFU and get back to your low-grade tyrannical corruption.

… also, illegal!

Screw those professional concern trolls and hanky-waving media McSame enablers, Clark needs to be out there.

Side note: I can’t believe this passes for “confusing” to the media or what we consider “high level discourse” today. JFC, how is it not patently obvious that each person argues for the “best solution” relative to their position X, and when someone says I understand, but my concerns are Y (some superset of X) that they are acknowledging this? Let me rephrase to the msnbc host: if you don’t understand that executives need to make decisions while balancing competing interests, you need to be paid less until you do understand.

McCain’s calling of his second wife (the rich one, the one he dumped his faithful poor one for after she stayed true to him while he was a POW and after she got into a disfiguring car accident. Oh, also, Cindy McCain is a plagiarist passing off stolen recipes as her own)… anyway, McCain called his second and current wife a “cunt.” I shit you not.

Now, a fun exercise in the imagination: imagine if Barack had called Michelle that. Imagine how many times you would have heard that (approximately 7 million until Clinton sealed the nom, would be my guess).

While discussing ninth-grade students at a school in New Jersey who were suspended for distributing topless photographs of their classmates, Bill O’Reilly stated, “But it’s an amazing amount of kids involved with this — 20 — in an affluent school district. This isn’t, you know, the inner city; you would think that these kids would have some kind of a values system.”

Matthews (finally) questions a pinhead wingnut on what is meant by one of their trigger phrases they spew around, here it’s “appeasement.” Naturally, the wingnut has no clue what it means… but it doesn’t stop him. from screaming his ignorance at the top of his lungs.

So good job, Chris. Make sure you follow up with McCain, mm’k?

“troglodyte homunculus” … awesome!

Good times.

Hillary Clinton spent the night in the White House on the day her husband had oral sex with Monica Lewinsky, and may have actually been in the White House when it happened, according to records of her schedule released today by the National Archives.

Excuse me? Relevance? Is there a single iota of meaning or worth behind this story? Does it serve any purpose at all? This is taking the recent attack-on-the-Democratic-(but not St. Johnny McCain’s!!!)-surrogates ridiculousness to a whole new level. Apparently, you don’t even need to be a sentient being any longer in order for the corporate media to whip your existence into something for which one of the Dem candidates must “repudiate” or “reject.”

Ladies and gents, your “liberal” media at work.

Have you no sense of decency ABC? At long last, have you left no sense of decency?

How voters interpret Sen. Hillary Clinton’s composure – emotional, cold or just plain tough -could be a deciding factor in her campaign for the presidency, political analysts told ABCNEWS.com.

Earlier today at a campaign event in New Hampshire, Clinton’s voice broke and her eyes welled up with tears as she spoke to 16 undecided voters about her passion for the election as well as for the country.

You see, she can’t win. If she’s strong and businesslike, then she’s a frigid bitch. If she’s actually emotional, then she’s a crazy bitch (you know how wimmin are!). The Cligina never stood a chance. I give it about -30 minutes before one of the denizens of right blogistan declares that the display of emotion was a calculated move.

For a man, this would be OK (and a classic example of leveraging dominant stereotypes against type to your benefit) because he would be showing his compassion. For a woman in our narrative, there’s no benefit in either direction (see also: how the media treats those who were right about Iraq).

It’s a sad, sad state of affairs and an embarrassment for our country that our sexism and misogyny is so ingrained that this is our level of discourse. Jesus fuck, even Pakistan has had a female Prime Minister (sure she’s dead now and was a corrupt nepotist when alive, but she still had two X chromosomes. Reportedly. I haven’t checked).¹

It’s not like I have any love for Clinton or a desire for her to be president – she’s a warmongering centrist carpetbagger with little to offer over the status quo, but I dislike and ridicule her her on policy, not gender, grounds (just in the past couple of days, she’s baselessly called Obama weak on choice and fearmongered with the best of the Busheviks)

Also, fuck you, Edwards.

“I think what we need in a commander-in-chief is strength and resolve, and presidential campaigns are tough business, but being president of the United States is also tough business,” Edwards told reporters Laconia, New Hampshire.

While anything can be a political, there are far, far classier ways to address this issue. You know, like ones where you don’t come across as callous and sexist. Like, oh, how Obama handled it.

“I didn’t see what happened,” he said, but added, “I know this process is a grind. So that’s not something I care to comment on.”

Score one for wooooo!bama

* Unless it’s not the end and only the beginning. What do you think I am, a pundit?

Side note: “Jesus fuck” is my new favorite expression of exasperation

Here’s one thing you need to know about John McCain. He’s always been the coolest kid in school. He was the brat who racked up demerits at the Naval Academy. He was the hot dog pilot who went back to the skies weeks after almost dying in a fire on the U.S.S. Forrestal. His first wife was a model. His second wife was a rich girl, 17 years his junior. He kept himself together during years of North Vietnamese torture and solitary confinement. When he sits in the back of his campaign bus, we reporters gather like kids in the cafeteria huddling around the star quarterback. We ask him tough questions, and we try to make him slip up, but almost inevitably we come around to admiring him. He wants the challenge. He likes the give and take. He is, to put it simply, cooler than us.

You can make your own choice on this one, but me? I’m going with “Toothless” Gormy Gorm.

Please also note that this … person … is employed by Time magazine and constitutes an official member of our modern media corps.

In a noble attempt to warm up reporters on caucus eve, Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton made a surprise jaunt onto the press bus on Wednesday morning, bearing coffee and bagels. “It’s been a long campaign,” she said, standing at the front of the bus. “I don’t know about you, but for me, it’s been a great experience.” Dumbfounded by the appearance (her first and only on board the bus since she started campaigning almost exactly a year earlier), the traveling press corps watched in silence as she handed off the goods to Phil Singer, her spokesman, making a rare appearance on the press bus himself. Clinton then turned and left.

Just to restate: a/the leading candidate for the Democratic nomination steps onto the press bus, bringing gifts and yummies and the press, the defenders of our freedom and bringers of light into the darkness of untruthiness … sat mute. Not a single question. Just the cold shoulder.

Now, imagine if the bagels n’ coffee were brought by McCain. Or Bush ’00. Do you think the collected media would have shrugged, took the vittles, and given the cold shoulder? Me neither.

Looking at the current results, Obama wins (unfortunately, that pandering choda scrubber; remember it’s his back yard and got both traitor Kucinich and Mrs. Grumpy fav Richardson to back him as their delegates second choice), Edwards looks strong (he was outspent by more than 5:1 by Obama and Hillary – look at the pretty graphs!), finishes in second, Hillary looks like toast. She’s dead in the water, it’s just a matter of time now. Media + unfavorables == dead in the water. I don’t see Obama getting derailed, but my fingers are crossed.

Huckabee creams the pathetic GOP crop and sends party aparatchiks into conniption fits, Romney’s toast and McCain looks unelectable (he’s in 4th behind the animated corpse known as Thompson, though they’re going to argue that he didn’t “try” for the state. Then again, neither did Thompson). I think watching the GOP and faux news go into apoplexy is the highlight of my week.

In other news: fuck Iowa and New Hampshire. That these two, tiny, unrepresentative states hold such large sway over our presidency is absolutely ridiculous. Rural, white, and provincial… yeah, exactly the dominant characteristics I want determining my country’s leader.

The media’s coverage is absurd as well. Hillary’s 30% is a repudiation, but McCain’s 88% rejection percentage is a huge victory!!!1!!! (Chris Matthews). Iowa’s super important… unless it isn’t… which it isn’t when we’re talking to Giuliani, but is when we’re leading into a commercial break. Fuck you, corporate media. Now bring me some male enhancement ads.

The results show that in paper after paper, state after state, and region after region, conservative syndicated columnists get more space than their progressive counterparts. As Editor & Publisher paraphrased one syndicate executive noting, “U.S. dailies run more conservative than liberal columns, but some are willing to consider liberal voices.”

Hmm… Bush likes to parade around in military-ish uniforms. Hey, you know who else had a penchant for wearing military uniforms they had no right wearing? Herman Goering!

At least one of these two also liked drugs (cocaine and/or morphine). At least one of these two also liked getting sodomized while wearing a feather boa and fishnet stockings. I’ll let you figure out which.

News Corp., the parent company of book publisher HarperCollins and the FOX network, has canceled publication of the O.J. Simpson book and television special “If I Did It.”

“I and senior management agree with the American public that this was an ill-considered project,” said Rupert Murdoch, News Corp. chairman. “We are sorry for any pain that this has caused the families of Ron Goldman and Nicole Brown Simpson.”

In the book, the one-time football superstar tells how he would have killed his ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend Ron Goldman if, in fact, he had done it.

A dozen FOX affiliates had already said they would not air the two-part sweeps month special, planned for next week before the book’s publication.

One station manager who had said he wasn’t airing the special said he was concerned that whether or not Simpson was guilty, he’d still be profiting from murders.

It’s still not going to stop me from running my picture again, though.

Republicans Friday chose Rep. John Boehner as minority leader, succeeding Speaker Dennis Hastert in the top GOP leadership post for the Democratic-controlled House that convenes in January.

Laura Ingraham’s God has forsaken her. What will Laura do now?

After hosting Pence on her conservative talk show Tuesday, Laura Ingraham remarked: “If there is a God in heaven, he will be the next House minority leader.”

Following Ingraham’s logic,1 if Pence is not the next House minority leader then there is no God in heaven. When it doesn’t happen, who are you going to worship then?

Care to double down, Laura?

1. Yes, yes. If A then B does not necessarily imply that not A equals not B. Given Ingraham’s construction it seems pretty clear to me that she is establishing that A (God) implies B (Pence as minority leader). In order for this to be true, the contrapositive (not B then not A) has to apply as well, so not B (Pence not minority leader) has to be not A (no God) for the construction to hold.

In an update to a previous post, OJ is now doing the talk show circuit to promote his “hypothetical” book. Hmm… this sounds… familiar… Oh yes! I remember!1

You know, you have to admire the human species. Every time I think we’ve hit a new floor in taste, someone goes way, way below it. It’s awesome when that person is me.

John Correli: Did you kill Mr Boz, Miss Tramell?
Catherine: I’d have to be pretty stupid to write a book about killing and then kill him the way I described in my book. I’d be announcing myself as the killer. I’m not stupid.

Trust me, just go look. I don’t feel like pulling the images right now.

After months of studied ambiguity, President Bush finally admitted that Iraq had “nothing” to do with the attack on the World Trade Center. The Defense Department, however, appears determined to perpetuate the myth.

Today, the administration released veterans day messages from troops in Iraq. These “taped messages from the U.S. Defense Department” featured a replica of the twin towers in the background.

Who exactly are they trying to fool? Whom do they think they are fooling? They might as well have hung a “Mission Accomplished” banner on the set as well.

The 2006 election was defined by a) a repudiation of the war in Iraq and the current Iraq strategy, and b) widespread national victories for Democratic House, Senate, and gubernatorial candidates.

This week’s guests on MTP:
Joe Lieberman: pro war, “Independent”
John McCain: pro war, GOP

Welcome to the new media order, same as the old.

Yeah, I’m just hoovering from thinkprogress. Thanks, guys!

An editorial set to appear on Monday — election eve — in the four leading newspapers for the military calls for the resignation of Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld.

The papers are the Army Times, Air Force Times, Navy Times and Marine Corps Times. They are published by the Military Times Media Group, a subsidiary of Gannett Co., Inc. President Bush said this week that he wanted Rumsfeld to serve out the next two years.

See, when I read this, I start thinking “military coup d’etat.” According to billmon, the [Branch] Times don’t do anything without the approval of the generals. And it seems to me that the Joint Chiefs (and even lower on the rung) are getting a taste for meddling in domestic politics. This is not a good sign for our democracy.

For those that don’t know, Helperin ABC New’s political director and is the responsible for the widely-read kewl kids news factory The Note. Why people read it before, I don’t know. Why they would read it after seeing what a craven, snivveling, subhuman sychophant Helperin is I really don’t know.

Unless they’re conservative, in which case The Note is teh b0mb!!!1!111!

Dear Hugh,

I really enjoyed our radio talk and I appreciated the opportunity to appear with someone I respect so much.

I have gotten a lot of positive feedback, mostly from conservatives, including this reaction on Powerlineblog.com.

But, as I have said to you privately, I am beginning to think you are intellectually dishonest on a few points. It seems strange that someone who seems to be trying to bring truth to people would do such a thing, but I can’t really explain your behavior any other way. As I said on the show, you and I agree on almost everything we discussed. On most of the points of disagreement, I respect your position and accept our disagreement. . . .

As for your repeated insistence that you could reach no other conclusion but one that says that I am “very liberal,” I’m sure if you think it over, you will reconsider. You went to a liberal school and you appear to not be liberal. And I am sure you have heard of people having different political views than their parents.

Again, I respect much about you, but I am mystified by your determination to lump me in with others. Acknowledging the liberal bias that exists in the Old Media — as John Harris and I do in The Way to Win: Taking the White House in 2008 doesn’t necessarily prove that I am not liberal, but I would think you would be open to giving me the benefit of the doubt, when you have no actual evidence to the contrary.

Hewitt may be a C-level echospheritarian/worst law professor in the world, but he sure knows the bully routine by heart. This was Helprin’s second message, by the way, and Hewitt has made Halperin his bitch not once, not twice, but three times now. You know, if I thought Halperin was worthy of anything more than scorn and a mild disinterest, I might feel sorry for the wormy little crybaby.

So, submissives take note (or bottoms, as we like to call you little bitches): this is how a proper sub behaves! Now lick my boot. Harder! Faster! You missed a spot, you naughty little thing. Have a nipple clamp. Now on your knees and beg for my forgiveness!