Aug 06

Who’s behind opposition to universal health care?

Wealthy conservative corporate interests, of course.

We all knew that, but here’s an actual outline on the teevee.

If it wasn’t for Maddow and the Daily Show, though, all you’d have are endless parades of batshit angry/insane people yelling at Democratic congresscritters in the town halls.

My optimism that we’ll actually get what the vast majority of actual people want – health care for all – is exceedingly slim. Our idiot media and the querulous Dems are too easily rolled by the astroturfing. Oh, and the strongest voting block in the country – seniors – already has government health care that they love. They have no incentive to give what they have to the younger folk and if they’re not on board, it’s a tough road to hoe. I can’t wait until the most narcissistic generation in our nation’s history reaches retirement age.

Feb 16

Eliminationis Rhetoric

Why is this not all over the news?

According to the FBI report, which was originally posted online by WikiLeaks, an organization that posts leaked documents, police also found a National Socialist Movement membership application filled out by Cummings. The NSM currently is the largest neo-Nazi organization in the country, with 69 chapters in 30 states.

Amber Cummings reportedly told police that her husband was “very upset” over Barack Obama being elected president, had been in contact with white supremacist groups, and that he’d been mixing chemicals in their kitchen sink while talking about dirty bombs

Imagine if it were a Republican president and Cummings was named Garcia or Sharif.

Oh, wait, I know why… let’s talk about steroids and LiLo’s new lips. Muuuuch more important these days, because everyone knows there’s no such thing as domestic terrorism.

Nov 14

Cockblock of the Century

Watch ’til the end (or just watch the last 15 seconds or so, same diff), where Brian Williams totally busts Luke Russert:

A few things:

a) Luke Russert. Mmmm… nepotism. Look, I’m sorry his dad died, but Luke sucks, brings nothing to the table, and has horrible hair. Fuck this shit.

b) From the reaction, I’m preeeeeeetty sure Luke and the victory hookup had already hit it.

c) Nice job, Brian! That was the best scolding-slash-breakup inducing moment ever. Ev-er.

d) I totally love how the entire crowd runs away from Luke like he’s a oily little droplet in their bucket of water. The frustrated and lonely chagrin on Luke’s face is priceless. This is precisely how he would have been treated if his dad dad daddy-o weren’t Tim Russert. Looooove it.

Oh, and since I’ve been too busy with other things to post during this epochal event – Sarah, your God has done what’s right for America. Now STFU and get back to your low-grade tyrannical corruption.

Jul 25

Tell me again

why Wesley Clark isn’t the already-named veep (or candidate for that matter).

Screw those professional concern trolls and hanky-waving media McSame enablers, Clark needs to be out there.

Side note: I can’t believe this passes for “confusing” to the media or what we consider “high level discourse” today. JFC, how is it not patently obvious that each person argues for the “best solution” relative to their position X, and when someone says I understand, but my concerns are Y (some superset of X) that they are acknowledging this? Let me rephrase to the msnbc host: if you don’t understand that executives need to make decisions while balancing competing interests, you need to be paid less until you do understand.

Jun 17

If we had a decent media, this wouldn’t be web-only

McCain’s calling of his second wife (the rich one, the one he dumped his faithful poor one for after she stayed true to him while he was a POW and after she got into a disfiguring car accident. Oh, also, Cindy McCain is a plagiarist passing off stolen recipes as her own)… anyway, McCain called his second and current wife a “cunt.” I shit you not.

Now, a fun exercise in the imagination: imagine if Barack had called Michelle that. Imagine how many times you would have heard that (approximately 7 million until Clinton sealed the nom, would be my guess).

Jun 11

But no, he’s not racist

Why do you ask?

While discussing ninth-grade students at a school in New Jersey who were suspended for distributing topless photographs of their classmates, Bill O’Reilly stated, “But it’s an amazing amount of kids involved with this — 20 — in an affluent school district. This isn’t, you know, the inner city; you would think that these kids would have some kind of a values system.”

May 17

Chris Matthews moment of semi-redemption

Matthews is horrid – pro-GOP, seriously misogynistic – but this bit here has some slight redemptive value.

Matthews (finally) questions a pinhead wingnut on what is meant by one of their trigger phrases they spew around, here it’s “appeasement.” Naturally, the wingnut has no clue what it means… but it doesn’t stop him. from screaming his ignorance at the top of his lungs.

So good job, Chris. Make sure you follow up with McCain, mm’k?

Mar 19

You have got to be shitting me

ABC News: Hillary Was in White House on ‘Stained Blue Dress’ Day

Hillary Clinton spent the night in the White House on the day her husband had oral sex with Monica Lewinsky, and may have actually been in the White House when it happened, according to records of her schedule released today by the National Archives.

Excuse me? Relevance? Is there a single iota of meaning or worth behind this story? Does it serve any purpose at all? This is taking the recent attack-on-the-Democratic-(but not St. Johnny McCain’s!!!)-surrogates ridiculousness to a whole new level. Apparently, you don’t even need to be a sentient being any longer in order for the corporate media to whip your existence into something for which one of the Dem candidates must “repudiate” or “reject.”

Ladies and gents, your “liberal” media at work.

Have you no sense of decency ABC? At long last, have you left no sense of decency?

Jan 07

The End of the Clinton Candidacy

The problem, you see, is that she’s a woman

How voters interpret Sen. Hillary Clinton’s composure – emotional, cold or just plain tough -could be a deciding factor in her campaign for the presidency, political analysts told ABCNEWS.com.

Earlier today at a campaign event in New Hampshire, Clinton’s voice broke and her eyes welled up with tears as she spoke to 16 undecided voters about her passion for the election as well as for the country.

You see, she can’t win. If she’s strong and businesslike, then she’s a frigid bitch. If she’s actually emotional, then she’s a crazy bitch (you know how wimmin are!). The Cligina never stood a chance. I give it about -30 minutes before one of the denizens of right blogistan declares that the display of emotion was a calculated move.

For a man, this would be OK (and a classic example of leveraging dominant stereotypes against type to your benefit) because he would be showing his compassion. For a woman in our narrative, there’s no benefit in either direction (see also: how the media treats those who were right about Iraq).

It’s a sad, sad state of affairs and an embarrassment for our country that our sexism and misogyny is so ingrained that this is our level of discourse. Jesus fuck, even Pakistan has had a female Prime Minister (sure she’s dead now and was a corrupt nepotist when alive, but she still had two X chromosomes. Reportedly. I haven’t checked).1

It’s not like I have any love for Clinton or a desire for her to be president – she’s a warmongering centrist carpetbagger with little to offer over the status quo, but I dislike and ridicule her her on policy, not gender, grounds (just in the past couple of days, she’s baselessly called Obama weak on choice and fearmongered with the best of the Busheviks)

Also, fuck you, Edwards.

“I think what we need in a commander-in-chief is strength and resolve, and presidential campaigns are tough business, but being president of the United States is also tough business,” Edwards told reporters Laconia, New Hampshire.

While anything can be a political, there are far, far classier ways to address this issue. You know, like ones where you don’t come across as callous and sexist. Like, oh, how Obama handled it.

“I didn’t see what happened,” he said, but added, “I know this process is a grind. So that’s not something I care to comment on.”

Score one for wooooo!bama

* Unless it’s not the end and only the beginning. What do you think I am, a pundit?

Side note: “Jesus fuck” is my new favorite expression of exasperation

Jan 05

Take your pick

Michael Scherer is either the most brilliant satirist since Ambroce Bierce, or he’s the best fluffler since Linda Lovelace.

Here’s one thing you need to know about John McCain. He’s always been the coolest kid in school. He was the brat who racked up demerits at the Naval Academy. He was the hot dog pilot who went back to the skies weeks after almost dying in a fire on the U.S.S. Forrestal. His first wife was a model. His second wife was a rich girl, 17 years his junior. He kept himself together during years of North Vietnamese torture and solitary confinement. When he sits in the back of his campaign bus, we reporters gather like kids in the cafeteria huddling around the star quarterback. We ask him tough questions, and we try to make him slip up, but almost inevitably we come around to admiring him. He wants the challenge. He likes the give and take. He is, to put it simply, cooler than us.

You can make your own choice on this one, but me? I’m going with “Toothless” Gormy Gorm.

Please also note that this … person … is employed by Time magazine and constitutes an official member of our modern media corps.

Jan 03

And you thought the media was shameful in 2000… and Iowa thoughts

Imagine these sophomoric little heathers in a Clinton-St. John McCain general election:

In a noble attempt to warm up reporters on caucus eve, Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton made a surprise jaunt onto the press bus on Wednesday morning, bearing coffee and bagels. “It’s been a long campaign,” she said, standing at the front of the bus. “I don’t know about you, but for me, it’s been a great experience.” Dumbfounded by the appearance (her first and only on board the bus since she started campaigning almost exactly a year earlier), the traveling press corps watched in silence as she handed off the goods to Phil Singer, her spokesman, making a rare appearance on the press bus himself. Clinton then turned and left.

Just to restate: a/the leading candidate for the Democratic nomination steps onto the press bus, bringing gifts and yummies and the press, the defenders of our freedom and bringers of light into the darkness of untruthiness … sat mute. Not a single question. Just the cold shoulder.

Now, imagine if the bagels n’ coffee were brought by McCain. Or Bush ’00. Do you think the collected media would have shrugged, took the vittles, and given the cold shoulder? Me neither.

Looking at the current results, Obama wins (unfortunately, that pandering choda scrubber; remember it’s his back yard and got both traitor Kucinich and Mrs. Grumpy fav Richardson to back him as their delegates second choice), Edwards looks strong (he was outspent by more than 5:1 by Obama and Hillary – look at the pretty graphs!), finishes in second, Hillary looks like toast. She’s dead in the water, it’s just a matter of time now. Media + unfavorables == dead in the water. I don’t see Obama getting derailed, but my fingers are crossed.

Huckabee creams the pathetic GOP crop and sends party aparatchiks into conniption fits, Romney’s toast and McCain looks unelectable (he’s in 4th behind the animated corpse known as Thompson, though they’re going to argue that he didn’t “try” for the state. Then again, neither did Thompson). I think watching the GOP and faux news go into apoplexy is the highlight of my week.

In other news: fuck Iowa and New Hampshire. That these two, tiny, unrepresentative states hold such large sway over our presidency is absolutely ridiculous. Rural, white, and provincial… yeah, exactly the dominant characteristics I want determining my country’s leader.

The media’s coverage is absurd as well. Hillary’s 30% is a repudiation, but McCain’s 88% rejection percentage is a huge victory!!!1!!! (Chris Matthews). Iowa’s super important… unless it isn’t… which it isn’t when we’re talking to Giuliani, but is when we’re leading into a commercial break. Fuck you, corporate media. Now bring me some male enhancement ads.