7 years ago today, Bush was presented with the “Bin Laden Determined to Strike in US” Presidential Daily Briefing. To which Bush replied “Alright, you’ve covered your ass now.”

Heckuva job, Caligula.

Hahahaha! Awesome. Actual McCain ad:

I couldn’t really tell if this was aimed at racists, christianists, or Matrix fans, but it fails on at least two of those fronts in discouraging people from voting for Obama. In a country filled with christianists eagerly awaiting the rapture, AKA the GOP base, do they really think the Obamessiah message is in any way an “attack”? In a battle of scary black man v. my gawd is teh awesome, who wins?

McCain’s got nuthin. Nuthin!

(side note: the “quote” of Barack’s in the ad is misleadingly cropped)

Standing in front of the class gave a speech:

Madam President, there is an old line about those of us who ignored the mistakes of history are doomed to repeat them. Afghanistan is the classic example of what could happen in Iraq. After years and years of incredible assistance to those who were seeking freedom from the then-Soviet Union occupation of Afghanistan, the Russians were driven out. Then, incredibly, the United States of America totally disengaged from Iraq. I recommend to my colleagues the reading of a book called “Ghost Wars” by Steven Cole, which won a Pulitzer Prize. Of course, came the Taliban. The Taliban then obviously was not only a terribly oppressive, brutal, cruel regime, but it also became a hotbed of training for terror today. A failed state in Iraq would pose a clear, present, and enduring danger to the security of our country.

Furthermore, Hitler, bananas, and a three-legged pony. … San Dimas High School Football Rules!

Pat Oliphant, ladies and gents, Pat Oliphant

I’m so glad we live in a post-racial society.

Now on sale at the Texas Republican Convention

Holy crap am I proud to be in this state right now.

Yet more proof that conservatives are like kryptonite to irony. Or subtlety. Or plain meaning, for that matter.

Lennonism [John J. Miller]

K Lo: I’m with you on “Imagine” — love the piano, hate the lyrics. A band called A Perfect Circle has a great cover version. The music is bleak and the vocals are subdued. It’s a much-needed deconstruction of the song. It’s like the anti-”Imagine.” I’m not sure the musicians intended it that way, but that’s the result, by my lights. Definitely worth a 99-cent download.

A few things:

1. The Perfect Circle cover is fairly horrible as a piece of music, actually. It’s like awesomeness on valium, sifted through gauze, and then drained of life force. Which is not to say the original Imagine is awesome, but the cover was filtered through that mysterious substance known as AwesomeX
2. I’m sure that Miller, should he choose to investigate, would love the much-needed deconstruction of Maynard James Keenan (whom I personally think is fantabulous; he’s the singer. Also, a vet!). See also: Dirty Harry by Gorillaz, Born in the USA by Springsteen, And the Band Played Waltzing Matilda by The Pogues, et. al. Don’t forget Gandhi!
3. Imagine by Perfect Circle was recorded in 2003 and released in 2004. Hmm… that time seems so familiar. Anyone remember what was happening around that time? Anyone. Drawing a blank here.
4. One might, uh, imagine that in this here world of the internetwebby thing, the video might be on the YT, and might, you know, display the intent of the artists:

Why do you ask?

While discussing ninth-grade students at a school in New Jersey who were suspended for distributing topless photographs of their classmates, Bill O’Reilly stated, “But it’s an amazing amount of kids involved with this — 20 — in an affluent school district. This isn’t, you know, the inner city; you would think that these kids would have some kind of a values system.”

He’s an old, hypocritical, mendacious, warmongering, narcissistic idiot with serious rage problems. Hooray for the GOP!

Ralph Nader Flirts with ‘08 Bid

Ralph Nader has formed a presidential exploratory committee, and said in an interview Wednesday that he will launch another presidential bid if he’s convinced he can raise enough money to appear on the vast majority of state ballots this fall.

Look, you narcissistic oblivious prick, you are part of the problem.

Here’s an idea, instead of reappearing every four years to throw elections for the biggest authoritarian kleptocracy in history like a bad case of gonorrhea… why don’t you do something useful during the intervening four years of nothing? Al Gore got an Oscar, what did you do? Besides charge five figure speaker fees for resting on your laurels, that is.

Because of you, thousands have died in Iraq. Because of you, our civil liberties have been eroded probably for the remainder of my lifetime.

I dunno, why don’t you form an actual progressive third party and build up the roots nationwide between elections. I know it’s hard work and I know you hate hard work, especially when you’re not getting press. Sometimes we all must make sacrifices.

Stop being a useful idiot and just be useful. Please.

Retroactive fines 5 years later for nude buttocks.

The Federal Communications Commission has proposed a $1.4 million fine against 52 ABC Television Network stations over a 2003 broadcast of cop drama NYPD Blue.

The fine is for a scene where a boy surprises a woman as she prepares to take a shower. The scene depicted “multiple, close-up views” of the woman’s “nude buttocks” according to an agency order issued late Friday.

Oh, do fuck off censors, would you?

Dude. I don’t like you, but it’s embarrassing to see you do this. It’s not hard to correct: Take a deep breath. Think of the optics. Stop saying stupid shit.

I think it’s fair to say that the Republicans were the party of ideas for a pretty long chunk of time there over the last 10-15 years in the sense that they were challenging conventional wisdom.

(this is from the back end of the talk we discussed earlier)

Jesus fuck, who’s your advisor? Bob Shrum? The tone deafness is astounding. For such a “charismatic” guy who has been so successful politically, this is embarrassing. I don’t care if you don’t agree with those ideas, I don’t care if you disagree with those ideas, this is one of those sound bites you just can’t do.

You know who calls the GOP the “party of ideas”? The GOP.

Idiot.

And it’s not just the right you’re handing these openings to: Bill Clinton immediately got on Obama’s ass with a mischaracterization of what Obama said and Bulldog Edwards attacked him for it too. And these guys are pussycats compared to the GOP slime machine, and you know what the GOP guys are calling Obama right now? “Meat.”

How about these ideas: universal health insurance, protecting the environment, protecting civil liberties,¹ fairness, respect, an end to oligopolies, freedom of speech, religion, and association,², fair hours, fair wages, equality, respect, suffrage, education, and justice for all.

You know why the GOP had these “ideas”? Because they were radical abominations that had been rejected time and time again by good thinking people the world over for the last 70 years? They weren’t ideas so much as totalitarian fantasies that Newtie thought up when he was between fart bubbles playing with his GI Joes in the bathtub (and whatever the prehistoric version of the same would be. Neanderthals lived the Contract on America. Look where it got them!).

The wingnut welfare machine was specifically designed to incubate “thinkers” in “think tanks” who would “think” out “ideas.” Crappy, unoriginal ideas, but that’s what they called them. Then they would sell these “ideas” to via more wingnut welfare through their well-lubed connections to the corporate media. The media would then report these “ideas” as something “new.”

Sigh. Gimme Edwards. Please. At least he stays on message (actually, he’s almost inhuman in that ability. Unsinkable Johnnie Ed!)

Be sure to point out that they are bad ideas the next time you do something this stupid, OK? kthx.

Lucky duckies working longer hours and having two jobs == FANtastic! (now stay away from my inheritance the death tax!)

I am so proud to be from the state of Minnesota. We’re the workingest state in the country, and the reason why we are, we have more people that are working longer hours, we have people that are working two jobs.

To me, the statement is an indictment on our country and current way of life. How is it that we can live in the wealthiest, most advanced¹, bestest country in the world… and our people have to work harder and longer than any other developed nation just to scrape by? We’ve got more than we need of food, toys, things, and space. Why is it that our society is like this?²

But I didn’t say that. Michelle Bachmann did.

Who is she? Michelle Bachmann (R-MN), a bosom buddy of Bush the lesser and a christianist of the strongest sort. She graduated from a nonaccredited law school (and still got a job being an attorney for the IRS) that was an adjunct of Oral Roberts university (gee, that situation sure sounds familiar) and her stances are strongest when they are anti-gay, anti-choice, and anti-separation of church and state.

But it’s not like her statement is out of the norm for for her social circle. Just ask “never had to work a day in my life” Bush!

GEORGE W. BUSH: Good. Okay, Mary, tell us about yourself.

MS. MORNIN: Okay, I’m a divorced, single mother with three grown, adult children. I have one child, Robbie, who is mentally challenged, and I have two daughters.
…
MS. MORNIN: That’s good, because I work three jobs and I feel like I contribute.

GEORGE W. BUSH: You work three jobs?

MS. MORNIN: Three jobs, yes.

GEORGE W. BUSH: Uniquely American, isn’t it? I mean, that is fantastic that you’re doing that. (Applause.) Get any sleep? (Laughter.)

MS. MORNIN: Not much. Not much.

You know, when he said “Uniquely American,” I think he meant that it was something we should be proud of. What a moron.

On a political note: why on earth do the poor or middle class ever vote Republican? ³ GOP has none of your interests at heart. None! Seriously, the GOP are the Whigs of the 21st century. It’s just embarassing.

The Straits of Tonkin incident… watch for yourself, then read:

Yesterday

Watch the tape for yourself–no one but an apologist for the Iranian regime could possibly claim that the boats shown were not acting in a threatening and reckless manner. And Majd has absolutely no evidence on which to base his accusation that the Pentagon manufactured or concocted any of this.

Today

Just two days after the U.S. Navy released the eerie video of Iranian speedboats swarming around American warships, which featured a chilling threat in English, the Navy is saying that the voice on the tape could have come from the shore or from another ship.

The near-clash occurred over the weekend in the Strait of Hormuz. On the U.S.-released recording, a voice can be heard saying to the Americans, “I am coming to you. You will explode after a few minutes.”

The Navy never said specifically where the voices came from, but many were left with the impression they had come from the speedboats because of the way the Navy footage was edited.

The right ain’t got nothin if they don’t have an aggrieved self-perception of victimhood. Latest example, the whiny idiots at RedState

Dear RedState Reader:

I have, as they say, some good news and some bad news.

(Short version: We need you to open your wallet and give what you can to build RedState 3.0. Go here to help. We need the money ASAP.)

The good news first: RedState.com is about to embark on a major upgrade of our website that will make it easier, more informative, and just plain more fun for you to visit.

The bad news: our liberal “friends” – you know, the ones who believe so strongly in free speech and open debate – have done what they can to prevent us from making these improvements, so that our influence will be minimized just as we head into the 2008 presidential primary season.

No, our Blue State buddies haven’t succeeded in stopping us from improving our website. But they’ve made it more difficult and more expensive – which is why I’m coming to you for help.

Let me explain …

You see, when we started RedState in May of 2004, we used a website program called Scoop — the same program a lot of similar sites on the left used. But, as the number of visitors to our site grew, Scoop kept crashing on us.

If we’d been a liberal website, we would have been able to fix the problem quickly and relatively cheaply. The online left loves Scoop. Unfortunately, there weren’t really any conservative Scoop developers out there to help us. We kept crashing and were out of money. We had to close down or take drastic action.

Well, we didn’t close down. We ditched Scoop and moved to the best alternative at the time, a program called Drupal. But, in accomplishing the switch, budget constraints forced us to sacrifice some popular site features in order to alleviate the strain on our overused servers.

Needless to say, we always regarded those “downgrades” as temporary, and we hoped to restore the eliminated features – and to add new and even better ones – as soon as we could afford to.

Unfortunately, we still can’t afford to. But we’re convinced that America can afford even less to have us operating at anything less than our absolute peak potential during the coming presidential election season.

So we’ve decided to move ahead with our upgrades without delay, and despite not having the cash on hand – hoping and praying that RedState.com readers like you will help us make up the shortfall with a generous donation.

Here, specifically, is what we’re planning to accomplish with your generous financial support …

[emphasis added]

Hahahahah… so, let me get this straight: the liberals, through their creation of the entire free-as-in-speech and free-as-in-beer software known as Scoop and Drupal were purposefully ratfucking conservative sites because… conservative programmers wouldn’t work for free? Pretty sneaky there moonbats!

Let me try again: Hi, we’re conservatives! We’re using socialized software that we aren’t paying for and we don’t want to pay anyone the value of their labor to code for us, so can you please give us some welfare money? kthxbai

Self awareness? Not for this bunch.

Side note: RedState is owned by a conservative media organization that had more than $8MM in sales last year, and they still can’t keep a shitty site operative. And people think conservatives are the successful business party?