Grumpasaurus.com

He just likes underage boys. In other words, he’s a Republican.

A 16-year-old male congressional page concerned about the appropriateness of an e-mail exchange with a congressman alerted Capitol Hill staffers to the communication.

Congressman Mark Foley’s office says the e-mails were entirely appropriate and that their release is part of a smear campaign by his opponent.

In the series of e-mails, obtained by ABC News, between the page and Rep. Foley (R-FL), Foley asks the page how old he is, what he wants for his birthday and requests a photo of him.

Funny, but the style of writing that Foley is using to woo/stalk the 16 year old boy are highly reminiscent of Wrinkle Dick’s literary stylings.

Based on history and writing styles, I’m going to go on a limb and opine that Foley’s intentions with the underage boy(s) were just as aboveboard and platonic as Wrinkle Dick’s were with Ms. Grumpy. I wonder if anyone has ever seen Wrinkle Dick and Foley in the same room at the same time?

Update: ABC has evidence of explicit sexual statements Foley made via IM. ‘ware the IM logs!

Rep. Mark Foley (R-FL) just resigned from Congress, ABC reports. Apparently, in addition to his not-quite-gross-but-certainly-inappropriate emails revealed yesterday, ABC had obtained “excerpts of instant messages provided by former pages who said the congressman, under the AOL Instant Messenger screen name Maf54, made repeated references to sexual organs and acts.”

Update 2: Wrinkle Dick Foley resigns. Guess it was a live boy situation then. Also note, he was co-chairman of the Missing and Exploited Children Caucus.

Update 3: it turns out that, much like the Catholic church, the GOP knew about Foley’s actions for almost a year.

From the WaPo:

The resignation rocked the Capitol, and especially Foley’s GOP colleagues, as lawmakers were rushing to adjourn for at least six weeks. House Majority Leader John Boehner (R-Ohio) told The Washington Post last night that he had learned this spring of some “contact” between Foley and a 16-year-old page. Boehner said he told House Speaker J. Dennis Hastert (R-Ill.), and that Hastert assured him “we’re taking care of it.”

It was not immediately clear what actions Hastert took. His spokesman had said earlier that the speaker did not know of the sexually charged e-mails between Foley and the boy.

Hastert and Pope Panzerfaust, like peas and carrots. Time to resign, Denny.

New message for ’06 midterms: vote GOP if you support homosexual teenage sex with 40+ year old men.

Update 4: from DU

Update 5: This just keeps getting better, in the “you’re busted, you pedophilic hypocrite” way. Here’s a section of the IM logs (Maf54 = Foley) (it formats long, so after the jump) Read more…

This is what the GOP says is necessary to defend America from islamofascisterrorists

Arar was also listed as “an Islamic extremist individual” who was in the Washington area on Sept. 11. The report concluded that he had no involvement in Islamic extremism and was on business in San Diego that day, said the head of the inquiry commission, Ontario Justice Dennis O’Connor.

Arar, now 36, was detained by U.S. authorities as he changed planes in New York on Sept. 26, 2002. He was held for questioning for 12 days, then flown by jet to Jordan and driven to Syria. He was beaten, forced to confess to having trained in Afghanistan — where he never has been — and then kept in a coffin-size dungeon for 10 months before he was released, the Canadian inquiry commission found.

O’Connor concluded that “categorically there is no evidence” that Arar did anything wrong or was a security threat.

Not only do we need to abduct people, torture them until they confess to crimes they have not committed, and leave them to rot in a small box in order to be safe, but this will also win the hearts and minds of the Muslims! Because America is exceptional!

It is only by spreading such policies, particularly as spread on the tips of armor piercing bullets or in the bellies of dropped bombs, that the Muslims can see just how serious we are about freedom and democracy.

Couldn’t pass up these nuggets:

Bush flatly states that Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11 (and of course no one in the administration suggested otherwise)

From the What Liberal Media? pt. 523 files, the Washington Post “quotes” Bush talking about Iraq, but edits his statement in a way that makes him appear more serious… without informing their readers.

Bush loves fart jokes, farting in front of aides, and is terrified of women. That’s the leader of the free world there, people.

Pat Buchanan… white supremacist.

Lieberman is the de facto GOP candidate for senator from Connecticut.

FSM, I love this guy:

I was browsing some of the newest evidence of Coulter’s plagiarism (it’s been noted by a more than a few people before this latest crop, but this time it’s gaining momentum for some reason. Note to researchers: pay attention to what she doesn’t cite, not just what she puts in her end notes) and every time I a picture of her, this damn catchy 11-note riff keeps popping into my head. Wha’ the fu, dude?

In case you’ve been in a cave, this is Ann:

Notice anyting? Besides the nicotine-stretched skin, anorexia, and dead eyes, that is. Let me help:

More?

I hear what you’re saying. What if she’s just a dessicated zombie skank and not an aging drag queen who got all of her makeup tips from Divine?

That bulge could just be her neck vertebrae showing through the neck region and only slightly cushioned by the 300 scarabs she had to ingest as part of the revitalization ritual! And what if she’s an alien, dude? Have you ever considered that?

I’ll admit, that picture is strong evidence of extraterrestrial origin. That neck! It’s straight out of that one stretchy neck grey alien movie! Those 2-meter forelimbs! The totally fake tits!

And who could blame an alien or a dessicated zombie skank for plagiarizing? Not me! No sir. But wait! Do you hear that? The riff is coming back again…

I can’t imagine why that keeps playing in my head.

Now it’s entirely possible that this billboard is a joke, but given the death of irony in the 20th century and right wingers’ noted lack of humor… I’m going to guess these people are dead serious in their iconography (or is it idolatry now?) of Rambesus. Dead. Serious.

BTW, rambesians, the line after “they drew first blood” is “not me.”[fn1] “I’ll be back” is from The Terminator.

P.S. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think Rambesus is sporting some wood up there. And by “wood,” I mean “raging hardon in anticipation of violent action, bitches! Now pinch my nipples!” That kind of wood.

P.P.S. Unless Rambesus’ flesh is stone or some other sufficiently strong-yet-unbreakable material, the wood on the crucifix wouldn’t break when he pulled on the nine inch nails. The best guess of what actually happens is that Rambesus pulls the arm hard enough to fully get the nail through the other side, thus shattering the bones, tearing tendons and veins, and rendering the limb useless. It would be a gory, horrible mess to rip your own arm off of a crucifix.

I dunno, maybe it’s one of those newfangled crucifixes with the breakaway arms and side-impact airbags. For safety, you know.

… only now, he’s an IMPOTENT bloated drug whore con.

Conservative talk show host Rush Limbaugh was detained at Palm Beach International Airport for the possible possession of illegal prescription drugs Monday evening.

Limbaugh was returning on a flight from the Dominican Republic when customs officials found a Viagra prescription that did not bear his name. Instead, the bottle of pills had the names of two doctors on it according to the Palm Beach Sheriff’s Office.

U.S. Customs and Border Protection agents examined the 55-year-old’s luggage after his private plane landed at the airport from the Dominican Republic. The matter was then turned over to the Sheriff’s Office. Investigators seized the drugs – used to treat erectile dysfunction – from Limbaugh.

You just know this has to violate his probation agreement. Anyone know if there’s a 2-strike law in Florida with no judicial discretion? FSM doesn’t love me that much, I know (love me, bitch! I’ll even make some butter sauce for you!), but I thought it was worth asking.

He was probably just looking for a new mannish news anchor on a crappy network for a little beachtime lovin’ in the DR (you know, one who won’t dump his ass). Can’t you just imagine him whispering sweet genocidal bigoted nothings in her ear? Can’t you just hear him scream “what’s my anal cyst’s name, baby! Say my ANAL CYST’s name!” as he comes?

[fn1]

If anyone needs me, I’ll be over here in the corner pouring Drano in my skull to cleanse this image from my mind.

[fn1] Yes, I know I’m going to hell for this picture. In my defense someone else made this first for a now-defunct politics site and then someone besides those guys posted it on flickr, and then I modified it to take out the face of the (no longer BDWC’s gf) woman. Because I’m thoughtful like that.

Update: Wolcott joins the fray

Now there is no shame in requiring wood enhancement. Men have needs, and if Viagra enables the little fella to jut proudly from the folds of the dragon kimono bequeathed to Rush by the late Allan Bloom, it is not for us to cast judgement.

Dragon kimono. Nice one.

Update: Also, Firedoglake is totally copying me (see here and here, the second referring to a different-than-this post o’ mine, and I’ve had this photo available on my VoldemortSite for over 3 years!). Man, some people… Sure, they may say independent creation. They may say obviousness. They may even saaaay great minds think alike. But whatev… flattery!

That’s OK Firedoglaketistas, I’ll let you ride on Grumpy’s coattails. This once. And turn down that music! Damn kids.

Update 2: no charges against bloatie… yet. Note that the trip was an all-male excursion to the Dominican Republic, along with the producers of that wonderful pro-torture series 24 (and an actress on that show is currently, *shudder*, Shamu’s lover. Think she’s happy about the trip?). I wonder what they were doing there? Probably scouting for baseball talent.

Turns out, the undead can speak

Vice President Dick Cheney, speaking at a political luncheon in Chicago, denounced the decision to reveal the existence of the financial monitoring program and the earlier-disclosed National Security Agency surveillance program.

“What I find most disturbing about these stories is that some of the news media take it upon themselves to disclose vital national security programs, thereby making it more difficult for us to prevent future attacks against the American people,” Cheney said. “That offends me.”

Disclose vital national security programs, like, oh, blowing the cover of undercover operatives trying to keep nukes out of the hands of dangerous despots for domestic political goals?

I love it when right wing blowhards just come out and admit their admiration for despotism. And by “love it” I mean “deserve a cockpunch for.”

O’REILLY: So because — what you have here now is a tipping point in history. A tipping point in history. So you have to win the Iraq situation. Now, to me, they’re not fighting it hard enough. See, if I’m president, I’ve got probably another 50-60,000 with orders to shoot on sight anybody violating curfews. Shoot ‘em on sight. That’s me. President O’Reilly, curfew in Ramadi, 7 o’clock at night. You’re on the street, you’re dead. I shoot you right between the eyes. OK?

That’s how I’d run that country — just like Saddam ran it. Saddam didn’t have explosions. He didn’t have bombers, did he? Because if you got out of line, you’re dead.

But of course, if you didn’t support the Iraq war, you hated freedom Freedom and America. Because Saddam was BAD! Bad bad bad!

… But boy he really kept those trains running on time, didn’t he?