“The greatest concern to the Cut, Cap and Balance Coalition is the integrity of the Cut, Cap and Balance Pledge that was signed by 39 House Members and 12 Senators, and whether voting for the proposed deal constitutes a Pledge violation,” reads the memo.”

“We hold that is does violate the pledge, on several grounds.”

… it’s so nice for our entire government to be in lockdown because of a tiny minority (heh) of terrified ignorant bone-stupid old white people. I would like to say we deserve better than this… but that would be a lie.

1) Started at the Alamo? The tea baggers are protesting independence from Santa Anna’s Mexico? The Rio Grande flows into Boston Harbor where the tea floats and … WOLVERIIIIINES!!!!!

I can get behind the idea that they are doomed idiots who choose to hole themselves up in an indefensible location despite orders directly to the contrary. I mean, that much is just obvious.

2) Glenn Beck is one whiny little bitch. And his music sucks.

3) I believe “listening to the people” is exactly what doing what you were elected to do entails.

4) Shorter: I’M DUMB AS HELL AND I’M NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE!

5) Mixed metaphor warning: Dont tread on one if by land two if by me the Alamo sea.

And, finally, I’m starting a 9/13 movement.

In my pants.

According to the FBI report, which was originally posted online by WikiLeaks, an organization that posts leaked documents, police also found a National Socialist Movement membership application filled out by Cummings. The NSM currently is the largest neo-Nazi organization in the country, with 69 chapters in 30 states.

Amber Cummings reportedly told police that her husband was “very upset” over Barack Obama being elected president, had been in contact with white supremacist groups, and that he’d been mixing chemicals in their kitchen sink while talking about dirty bombs

Imagine if it were a Republican president and Cummings was named Garcia or Sharif.

Oh, wait, I know why… let’s talk about steroids and LiLo’s new lips. Muuuuch more important these days, because everyone knows there’s no such thing as domestic terrorism.

A phony State Board of Elections flier advising Republicans to vote on Nov. 4 and Democrats on Nov. 5 is being circulated in several Hampton Roads localities, according to state elections officials.

This happens every cycle – some flier comes out in minority/black/poor neighborhoods either giving a wrong location, date, or threats of arrest/seizure/investigation should the darkies show up.

and remember, change means …. BLACK!!!!!

1) Who do you think is going to win the election?

A) John McCain: 53% (39)
B) Barack Obama: 47% (34)

2) Do you think Sarah Palin has been a plus or a minus to the ticket?

A) Minus: 9% (7)
B) Plus: 91% (68)

3) How do you feel about Sarah Palin as a candidate?

A) I really like her!: 80% (61)
B) She’s so-so.: 12% (9)
C) I’m not a big fan!: 8% (6)

4) The Republican Party did poorly in the 2006 election and even if McCain wins is on track to do poorly again in this year’s Congressional races. If you had to choose between these two options, do you think that’s because they were…

A) Too conservative: 9% (7)
B) Not conservative enough: 91% (67)

5) Do you believe the mainstream media’s coverage has been…

A) Relatively fair and even handed.: 0% (0)
B) Slightly biased in favor of Barack Obama.: 4% (3)
C) Slightly biased in favor of John McCain.: 0% (0)
D) Heavily biased in favor of Barack Obama.: 96% (72)
E) Heavily biased in favor of John McCain.: 0% (0)

6) Do you think Barack Obama is…

A) Honest (Yes or no?)

Yes: 11% (8)
No: 89% (66)

B) Patriotic (Yes or no?)

Yes: 24% (18)
No: 76% (57)

C) Qualified to be President (Yes or no?)

Yes: 12% (9)
No: 88% (66)

Guaranteed permanent Democrat majority!

A campaign worker who claimed she was the victim of a politically-motivated attack in which she was beaten, kicked and cut, now admits that she made the whole story up.

According to Pittsburgh police spokeswoman Diane Richard, Ashley Todd, 20, told investigators today that she “was not robbed and there was no 6’4″ black male attacker.”

Todd initially told police that she was robbed at an ATM in Bloomfield Wednesday night and that the suspect began beating her after seeing a John McCain bumper sticker on her car.

Todd claimed that the mugger even cut a backwards letter “B” in her check.

But today investigators say Todd confessed that the attack never happened.

At a news conference this afternoon, officials said they believe that Todd’s injuries were self-inflicted.

What a dumbass. A dumbass with issues. Get some therapy before you waste the world’s time again.

Update: Dude. I was totally first.

Update 2: Peter Feldman is the new Al Sharpton.

John McCain’s Pennsylvania communications director told reporters in the state an incendiary version of the hoax story about the attack on a McCain volunteer well before the facts of the case were known or established — and even told reporters outright that the “B” carved into the victim’s cheek stood for “Barack,” according to multiple sources familiar with the discussions.

I can’t believe the McCain campaign was pushing this turd of a story that didn’t pass the sniff test from the get go. Wait, what am I saying? Of course they pushed the story!

Unless you’re having an affair on your yacht with a model (and given that flag-draped picture and Palin’s known indiscretions, she might have been), there’s no way that look plays in the Halls of Power.

In all fairness, her outfits are totally appropriate for Alaska. That pink thing is probably Eskimo-wear, and the rest all look like typical mom/cold/outdoorsy stuff and completely unobjectionable.

But I thought that focusing on Satan’s outerwear would make for a nice change of pace.

Trying to play it off once you’re caught on camera? Giving the stuffed animal to a little kid and acting like it’s a gift?

That, my friends, is someone unashamed and unafraid to boldly proclaim in public that which they believe in private, a true a glorious example of the Republican brand of courage.

YouTube version in case one or the other disappears.

… also, illegal!

CLINT Eastwood made it clear who won last week’s vice-presidential debate in an interview he did Saturday as part of The New Yorker Festival with the magazine’s legendary Lillian Ross.

“One of the candidates the other night seemed more prone to telling the truth than the other,” Eastwood said. The cheese-and-Chardonnay crowd laughed, presumably because they thought he meant Joe Biden.

But the laughs among the 300 worshipful movie buffs at the Directors Guild theater dried up when Ross interjected, “I liked her, too!”

Eastwood went on to talk about how well “she” did, although he stopped short of a ringing endorsement.

Yes, I know he’s a Republican, but he’s generally been a straight shooter in the past. Palin is a pathological liar on a grander scale than BushMcCain and equal to Cheney. She’s an empty suit with no morals, ethics, integrity, or grasp of the english language. Maybe that’s it. Maybe she’s just so idiotic that she doesn’t realize lying does not make the words become true.

Speaking before voters in Colorado Springs, the Republican vice presidential nominee claimed that lending giants Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac had “gotten too big and too expensive to the taxpayers.” The companies, as McClatchy reported, “aren’t taxpayer funded but operate as private companies. The takeover may result in a taxpayer bailout during reorganization.”

Not sure how we’ll tell the difference between her and dub, but she’s not qualified to be a gym teacher let alone VP.

I couldn’t really tell if this was aimed at racists, christianists, or Matrix fans, but it fails on at least two of those fronts in discouraging people from voting for Obama. In a country filled with christianists eagerly awaiting the rapture, AKA the GOP base, do they really think the Obamessiah message is in any way an “attack”? In a battle of scary black man v. my gawd is teh awesome, who wins?

McCain’s got nuthin. Nuthin!

(side note: the “quote” of Barack’s in the ad is misleadingly cropped)

Holy crap am I proud to be in this state right now.

Lennonism [John J. Miller]

K Lo: I’m with you on “Imagine” — love the piano, hate the lyrics. A band called A Perfect Circle has a great cover version. The music is bleak and the vocals are subdued. It’s a much-needed deconstruction of the song. It’s like the anti-”Imagine.” I’m not sure the musicians intended it that way, but that’s the result, by my lights. Definitely worth a 99-cent download.

A few things:

1. The Perfect Circle cover is fairly horrible as a piece of music, actually. It’s like awesomeness on valium, sifted through gauze, and then drained of life force. Which is not to say the original Imagine is awesome, but the cover was filtered through that mysterious substance known as AwesomeX
2. I’m sure that Miller, should he choose to investigate, would love the much-needed deconstruction of Maynard James Keenan (whom I personally think is fantabulous; he’s the singer. Also, a vet!). See also: Dirty Harry by Gorillaz, Born in the USA by Springsteen, And the Band Played Waltzing Matilda by The Pogues, et. al. Don’t forget Gandhi!
3. Imagine by Perfect Circle was recorded in 2003 and released in 2004. Hmm… that time seems so familiar. Anyone remember what was happening around that time? Anyone. Drawing a blank here.
4. One might, uh, imagine that in this here world of the internetwebby thing, the video might be on the YT, and might, you know, display the intent of the artists:

Mysti was one of the last people out the door at New Century Financial, once the nation’s No. 2 subprime lender. She had been in charge of e-commerce customer service with dozens of employees reporting to her. It was at New Century where the Copes met in 2000.

Kent worked for several of the firms that helped give birth to the industry, which specializes in making loans to people with less-than-perfect credit, in the 1990s. He has been out of work since August when he was laid off by Friedman, Billings, Ramsey Group (FBR) unit First NLC Financial Services.

Yeah, tough times. I feel for you guy-

Despite their financial problems, the Copes have worked hard to protect their credit rating, staying current on bills. And they’ve made cutbacks: trading in Kent’s Corvette for a Suburban and getting rid of the gardener, for example. But the couple also has learned that it didn’t need everything it used to spend money on.

Nevermind.

Special bonus points for being a midlife crisis, ‘vette driving, trophy/daughter’s age wife havin douchebag sugar daddy wannabe with no job. And being named “Kent.” Though that one’s probably not completely his fault.

…

Teen faces WMD charge after plastic egg explodes

An 18-year-old Elizabethtown man is charged with possessing a weapon of mass destruction and other offenses over a plastic egg explosion.

Police say he ignited a plastic egg filled with plastic air-gun pellets in a flea market, hitting at least five people and causing alarm. It happened Saturday afternoon at a Saturday’s Market in Londonderry Township, Dauphin County.

Ignoring, for the moment, the patent absurdity of charging someone with using a “weapon of mass destruction” when that “weapon” caused, and could cause, no destruction at all, let alone “mass destruction” and all of the negative reflections upon the state of our society and policing if this charge were indeed levied… is it even possible to lay this charge on the kid?

Mebbe.

Pennsylvania statutes¹ show that this incident probably meets the statutory definition … but only by the barest whisker, if at all. The statute allows for bring this charge if a person “without lawful authority to do so, intentionally, knowingly or recklessly possesses or manufactures a weapon of mass destruction.”²

Naturally, this begs the question: what is a weapon of mass destruction under Pennsylvania law?

I’m glad you asked, Johnny! Because the answer is in the same statute. A “weapon of mass destruction” is “A biological agent, bomb, chemical agent or nuclear agent.”

A plastic egg filled with plastic pellets is not a biological, chemical, or nuclear agent, leaving the only possibility of bomb. What is the definition of “bomb” under this statute? “An explosive device used for unlawful purposes.”

And that’s where the sliver of possibility resides. I’m pretty sure the egg went BANG and was used in the creation of calamity, thus it likely satisfies both elements of the definition. Absurd, but likely.

Now, this statute, or at least that provision, is certainly ripe for some constitutional void-for-vagueness challenges (a “bomb” is a weapon of mass destruction? Really? No matter how big?), which I’m certain we won’t see here as the strategy was likely one intended to make the kid take a plea bargain. By a similar reading of this statute, it would make no difference if the kid had a plastic egg, EFP, or a box full of Pop-Its that scared three biddies.

Welcome to the new GOP world of bedwetting fear. Make sure you carry spare undies for every time a gnat farts in your direction.

As he posed for a picture with a group of young people, the typically old-fashioned Romney was relaxed enough to quote from a popular hit single from a few years back.

“Who let the dogs out?” he called out, as he stood there beaming in his shirt and tie. “Who! Who!”

Hey, at least it wasn’t racist or appearing with a pro-apartheid Mason on MLK day like Saint John McCain (a holiday McCain voted against creating, by the way), right?

I think it’s fair to say that the Republicans were the party of ideas for a pretty long chunk of time there over the last 10-15 years in the sense that they were challenging conventional wisdom.

(this is from the back end of the talk we discussed earlier)

Jesus fuck, who’s your advisor? Bob Shrum? The tone deafness is astounding. For such a “charismatic” guy who has been so successful politically, this is embarrassing. I don’t care if you don’t agree with those ideas, I don’t care if you disagree with those ideas, this is one of those sound bites you just can’t do.

You know who calls the GOP the “party of ideas”? The GOP.

Idiot.

And it’s not just the right you’re handing these openings to: Bill Clinton immediately got on Obama’s ass with a mischaracterization of what Obama said and Bulldog Edwards attacked him for it too. And these guys are pussycats compared to the GOP slime machine, and you know what the GOP guys are calling Obama right now? “Meat.”

How about these ideas: universal health insurance, protecting the environment, protecting civil liberties,¹ fairness, respect, an end to oligopolies, freedom of speech, religion, and association,², fair hours, fair wages, equality, respect, suffrage, education, and justice for all.

You know why the GOP had these “ideas”? Because they were radical abominations that had been rejected time and time again by good thinking people the world over for the last 70 years? They weren’t ideas so much as totalitarian fantasies that Newtie thought up when he was between fart bubbles playing with his GI Joes in the bathtub (and whatever the prehistoric version of the same would be. Neanderthals lived the Contract on America. Look where it got them!).

The wingnut welfare machine was specifically designed to incubate “thinkers” in “think tanks” who would “think” out “ideas.” Crappy, unoriginal ideas, but that’s what they called them. Then they would sell these “ideas” to via more wingnut welfare through their well-lubed connections to the corporate media. The media would then report these “ideas” as something “new.”

Sigh. Gimme Edwards. Please. At least he stays on message (actually, he’s almost inhuman in that ability. Unsinkable Johnnie Ed!)

Be sure to point out that they are bad ideas the next time you do something this stupid, OK? kthx.

I am so proud to be from the state of Minnesota. We’re the workingest state in the country, and the reason why we are, we have more people that are working longer hours, we have people that are working two jobs.

To me, the statement is an indictment on our country and current way of life. How is it that we can live in the wealthiest, most advanced¹, bestest country in the world… and our people have to work harder and longer than any other developed nation just to scrape by? We’ve got more than we need of food, toys, things, and space. Why is it that our society is like this?²

But I didn’t say that. Michelle Bachmann did.

Who is she? Michelle Bachmann (R-MN), a bosom buddy of Bush the lesser and a christianist of the strongest sort. She graduated from a nonaccredited law school (and still got a job being an attorney for the IRS) that was an adjunct of Oral Roberts university (gee, that situation sure sounds familiar) and her stances are strongest when they are anti-gay, anti-choice, and anti-separation of church and state.

But it’s not like her statement is out of the norm for for her social circle. Just ask “never had to work a day in my life” Bush!

GEORGE W. BUSH: Good. Okay, Mary, tell us about yourself.

MS. MORNIN: Okay, I’m a divorced, single mother with three grown, adult children. I have one child, Robbie, who is mentally challenged, and I have two daughters.
…
MS. MORNIN: That’s good, because I work three jobs and I feel like I contribute.

GEORGE W. BUSH: You work three jobs?

MS. MORNIN: Three jobs, yes.

GEORGE W. BUSH: Uniquely American, isn’t it? I mean, that is fantastic that you’re doing that. (Applause.) Get any sleep? (Laughter.)

MS. MORNIN: Not much. Not much.

You know, when he said “Uniquely American,” I think he meant that it was something we should be proud of. What a moron.

On a political note: why on earth do the poor or middle class ever vote Republican? ³ GOP has none of your interests at heart. None! Seriously, the GOP are the Whigs of the 21st century. It’s just embarassing.

And yet it appears that Google has decided to punish this modest blogger despite the fact that I am actually a victim of this nefarious attempt to hijack Google. Google has now erased all traces of my piece “Jonah Goldberg’s Shining (Liberal Fascism with LOLCats)” from search results for the phrase “Liberal Fascism.” While it was once in the Top 10 of results for a search on the words “Liberal Fascism” it is now missing from that search entirely. Despite the fact that my piece has 94 links, according to Technorati, Google has decided that after the Amazon page for the book, the most informative links for the words “Liberal Fascism” include a Think Progress piece from two years ago that is not really about the book, with 9 links; a piece from The Corner (0 links) about all the great reviews the book has received; a piece by Cactus from the Angry Bear (1 link), who, like me, has not actually read the book; another piece from two years ago by Brendan Nyhan (4 links) ridiculing the book; and a page from the Urban Dictionary (27 links) defining a word that I cannot repeat here since this is a family-safe blog. (Update: The Urban Dictionary page has now moved into the Number One slot ahead of the Amazon page.)

In case you didn’t see it before, here’s the article again.

Dear RedState Reader:

I have, as they say, some good news and some bad news.

(Short version: We need you to open your wallet and give what you can to build RedState 3.0. Go here to help. We need the money ASAP.)

The good news first: RedState.com is about to embark on a major upgrade of our website that will make it easier, more informative, and just plain more fun for you to visit.

The bad news: our liberal “friends” – you know, the ones who believe so strongly in free speech and open debate – have done what they can to prevent us from making these improvements, so that our influence will be minimized just as we head into the 2008 presidential primary season.

No, our Blue State buddies haven’t succeeded in stopping us from improving our website. But they’ve made it more difficult and more expensive – which is why I’m coming to you for help.

Let me explain …

You see, when we started RedState in May of 2004, we used a website program called Scoop — the same program a lot of similar sites on the left used. But, as the number of visitors to our site grew, Scoop kept crashing on us.

If we’d been a liberal website, we would have been able to fix the problem quickly and relatively cheaply. The online left loves Scoop. Unfortunately, there weren’t really any conservative Scoop developers out there to help us. We kept crashing and were out of money. We had to close down or take drastic action.

Well, we didn’t close down. We ditched Scoop and moved to the best alternative at the time, a program called Drupal. But, in accomplishing the switch, budget constraints forced us to sacrifice some popular site features in order to alleviate the strain on our overused servers.

Needless to say, we always regarded those “downgrades” as temporary, and we hoped to restore the eliminated features – and to add new and even better ones – as soon as we could afford to.

Unfortunately, we still can’t afford to. But we’re convinced that America can afford even less to have us operating at anything less than our absolute peak potential during the coming presidential election season.

So we’ve decided to move ahead with our upgrades without delay, and despite not having the cash on hand – hoping and praying that RedState.com readers like you will help us make up the shortfall with a generous donation.

Here, specifically, is what we’re planning to accomplish with your generous financial support …

[emphasis added]

Hahahahah… so, let me get this straight: the liberals, through their creation of the entire free-as-in-speech and free-as-in-beer software known as Scoop and Drupal were purposefully ratfucking conservative sites because… conservative programmers wouldn’t work for free? Pretty sneaky there moonbats!

Let me try again: Hi, we’re conservatives! We’re using socialized software that we aren’t paying for and we don’t want to pay anyone the value of their labor to code for us, so can you please give us some welfare money? kthxbai

Self awareness? Not for this bunch.

Side note: RedState is owned by a conservative media organization that had more than $8MM in sales last year, and they still can’t keep a shitty site operative. And people think conservatives are the successful business party?

Kucinich has thrown his second-round support behind Obama, and the rumor is Richardson will do the same. The Iowa Independent chalks it up to a desire to hurt Edwards’ chances with second round votes, damaging his campaign and potentially elevating Richardson into the #3 spot as the race moves forward.