Jan 21

Elections have consequences

… and 8 years of Bush == an end to what little democracy we have left. The essence of the case is an emasculation of representative democracy, an increase in corruption, the overturning of long-standing precedent, and an opening of the floodgates to direct, corporate participation in campaign spending. From the NYT:

A bitterly divided Supreme Court ruled on Thursday that the government may not ban political spending by corporations, labor unions or other organizations in elections. The court’s majority in Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission swept aside a century-old doctrine in election law, ruling that the campaign finance restriction violated the First Amendment’s free speech principles. The dissenters said opening the floodgates to corporate money will corrupt democracy.

Well, I guess at least the corporate influence will be unmistakably obvious now. So we’ve got that. We’ve also got a near 0 probability of any reform candidate ever winning, and a near 1.0 probability of incumbent protection … leading to further ossification of our government and the strengthening of the oligarchy. On the other other hand, maybe this is outrageous enough to re-spur the reform movement … in another 100 years.

While I should add that I believe the definition of an “activist” judges is one who issues a decisions with which you disagree, this is an activist decision. There is nothing more “activist” than overturning a 100-year old precedent, which the Scalitothomasroberts group did. Thus, the Bush “minimalists” and “strict constructionists” and “originalists” are … activists.

Also, fuck you, Kennedy.

Jan 30

Fuck you, Ralph

Ralph Nader Flirts with ’08 Bid

Ralph Nader has formed a presidential exploratory committee, and said in an interview Wednesday that he will launch another presidential bid if he’s convinced he can raise enough money to appear on the vast majority of state ballots this fall.

Look, you narcissistic oblivious prick, you are part of the problem.

Here’s an idea, instead of reappearing every four years to throw elections for the biggest authoritarian kleptocracy in history like a bad case of gonorrhea… why don’t you do something useful during the intervening four years of nothing? Al Gore got an Oscar, what did you do? Besides charge five figure speaker fees for resting on your laurels, that is.

Because of you, thousands have died in Iraq. Because of you, our civil liberties have been eroded probably for the remainder of my lifetime.

I dunno, why don’t you form an actual progressive third party and build up the roots nationwide between elections. I know it’s hard work and I know you hate hard work, especially when you’re not getting press. Sometimes we all must make sacrifices.

Stop being a useful idiot and just be useful. Please.

Jan 21

Dude, Where’s My Car?

and the winner for the I really should have shut up instead of tried to pander award for today is… Mitt Romney

As he posed for a picture with a group of young people, the typically old-fashioned Romney was relaxed enough to quote from a popular hit single from a few years back.

“Who let the dogs out?” he called out, as he stood there beaming in his shirt and tie. “Who! Who!”

Hey, at least it wasn’t racist or appearing with a pro-apartheid Mason on MLK day like Saint John McCain (a holiday McCain voted against creating, by the way), right?

Feb 17

The Insane Administration

They’ve been prepping to attack Iran for more than a year. We need to stop this insanity. Now.

The Bush Administration, while publicly advocating diplomacy in order to stop Iran from pursuing a nuclear weapon, has increased clandestine activities inside Iran and intensified planning for a possible major air attack. Current and former American military and intelligence officials said that Air Force planning groups are drawing up lists of targets, and teams of American combat troops have been ordered into Iran, under cover, to collect targeting data and to establish contact with anti-government ethnic-minority groups. The officials say that President Bush is determined to deny the Iranian regime the opportunity to begin a pilot program, planned for this spring, to enrich uranium.

Some operations, apparently aimed in part at intimidating Iran, are already under way. American Naval tactical aircraft, operating from carriers in the Arabian Sea, have been flying simulated nuclear-weapons delivery missions—rapid ascending maneuvers known as “over the shoulder” bombing—since last summer, the former official said, within range of Iranian coastal radars.

I’m out of words on this one. Attacking Iran will be a disaster on so many levels that the wisdom in keeping it from happening should be self-evident.

Jan 11

Attack Iran? You betcha!

I’m putting the over/under on “some time in the next 3 months… whenever that best weather month is.” From last night’s speech

Though President Bush’s national address Wednesday night was about Iraq, his most provocative comments focused on her neighbor, Iran.

Early in his speech Bush raised the matter of Iran, suggesting that if U.S. efforts to secure Iraq failed, “Iran would be emboldened in its pursuit of nuclear weapons.”

Bush blamed both Syria and Iran in helping radical insurgents within Iraq.

“These two regimes are allowing terrorists and insurgents to use their territory to move in and out of Iraq,” he said.

He then singled out Iran, adding that she “is providing material support for attacks on American troops.”

Bush made an implied military threat against both nations: “We will disrupt the attacks on our forces. We will interrupt the flow of support from Iran and Syria. And we will seek out and destroy the networks providing advanced weaponry and training to our enemies in Iraq.”

The President continued in this vein, suggesting a larger U.S. goal of stopping Iran’s nuclear program:

“We are also taking other steps to bolster the security of Iraq and protect American interests in the Middle East. I recently ordered the deployment of an additional carrier strike group to the region. We will expand intelligence sharing — and deploy Patriot air defense systems to reassure our friends and allies.

So you’ve got a 30% approval president pursuing a 12% approval strategy of escalation pumping a sub-5% new attack on a new target that is not threatening us… tell me again how we’re living in a democracy instead of an authoritarian banana republic?

Oct 19

More Obamarama

There are a few key indicators to know when an idea that is being presented to you is not only wrong, but spectacularly so. Things like buying investor shares in a company run by your neighbor’s cousin and his parole officer whose business plan is written on a recycled Denny’s menu. Or listening when a felonious exile mentions how easy an invasion of his former country would be; so easy that there’s going to be flowers and chocolate. Or a tech guy with a four color flag icon thing on his shirt offers to sell you a product with a “version 1.0” after the title.

… or when an always wrong, bone stupid, right wing ideologue OpEd writer for the NYTimes and an always wrong, bone stupid, centrist, mendacious “democrat” writer for Time (AKA “Anonymous”) both say in the same week that what the Dems need is for Barack Obama to run for president.

Barack Obama should run for president.

He should run first for the good of his party. It would demoralize the Democrats to go through a long primary season with the most exciting figure in the party looming off in the distance like some unapproachable dream. The next Democratic nominee should either be Barack Obama or should have the stature that would come from defeating Barack Obama.

Here we go again. Gee, thanks, David. As always, I’m sure you have the best interests of the Democratic party at heart. Your advice is always so inspirational and helpful, I can’t help but be moved to just thank you so much.

Hey, I’ve got an idea: I think the GOP should nominate a cow patty for president and the Dems will nominate someone who can actually run this country. Whaddya say?

Oct 17

This is a joke, right?

Purity Princess Survivor Kit

This kit is excellent for any girl! Over 50 items enclosed including the Purity Pledge, the Pink Abstinence Card , valuable information on STD’s and your worth as a girl created by God! From nail enamel quick dry spray, a cute polka dot shower cap to nail glue, a pre-threaded sewing kit, and a dual make up sharpener…this kit is for you! Great for going off to College the Birthday Girl or even a COMING OF AGE gift for when she finally gets her period.

So… you get the purity thing, go to a formal ball with daddy where you recite a creepy pledge of your vagina to your father as his property to do with as he pleases (supposedly to give away, but we all know how that works out), but then what? I’m assuming the vagina dentata is in there at some point as well as the more feudal chastity belt… but then what?

And what does purity have to do with a nail enamel quick dry spray or a cute polka dot shower cap? Should you even be taking showers? I mean, to take showers, you have to be nekkid. Presumably. Is there are purity prophylactic for the shower time so you bitches don’t see your own daaaaangerous nekkidness? Maybe a Purity blindfold? Mix the purity blindfold with the pledge to daddy and you’ve got the makings of some serious spin the bottle times.

Oh, and by “survivor” in the product name above, they do not mean of rape or molestation, as one might assume. Nor do they mean someone who survived the Holocaust. No, they mean … well, I’m not sure really, but I think it has something to do with being a shitty driver. Or possibly a narcoleptic. Or both.

See, I don’t not want a daughter only because of the looming nightmare of their teenage years and predatory 30 year old accountants – no! – I also don’t want them to have to grow up in a world where they have to fight this malevolent, ignorant, self-hateful bullshit every day. My hat’s off to you wimmin for making the development of homocidal maniacs of your gender the exception rather than the rule.

Update: I was going to end there, but then I kept following stuff about the Purity Balls and pledges and shit and then OMFG. What is up with these people? (Dobson-fueled Focus on the Family, of course)

Katie giggles as she waits for her date to come around and open the car door. The pair enters an ice cream shop. She sits down at the table as her date gently pushes in her chair. He takes her hand from across the table and asks, “What flavor would you like tonight, Sugar?” Katie smiles and says, “I’ll have chocolate, Daddy.”

More and more fathers are becoming aware of their influence and regularly dating their daughters.

“The research clearly says that daddies make all the difference in the world,” says Kevin Leman, national speaker and author of What a Difference Daddy Makes. “I have tremendously more impact on my daughter than my wife does.”

Did everyone else out there just vomit in their mouths a little bucketload? Yeeeesh.

Oct 16

UK Bigotry and Fear

Universities urged to spy on Muslims

Lecturers and university staff across Britain are to be asked to spy on “Asian-looking” and Muslim students they suspect of involvement in Islamic extremism and supporting terrorist violence, the Guardian has learned.

They will be told to inform on students to special branch because the government believes campuses have become “fertile recruiting grounds” for extremists.

The Department for Education has drawn up a series of proposals which are to be sent to universities and other centres of higher education before the end of the year. The 18-page document acknowledges that universities will be anxious about passing information to special branch, for fear it amounts to “collaborating with the ‘secret police'”. It says there will be “concerns about police targeting certain sections of the student population (eg Muslims)”.

Yeah, still not moving to the UK. See above.

Oct 03

I’ve got your October Surprise right here

Foley? Who’s that?

According to Lieut. Mike Kafka, a spokesman at the headquarters of the Second Fleet, based in Norfolk, Virginia, the Eisenhower Strike Group, bristling with Tomahawk cruise missiles, has received orders to depart the United States in a little over a week. Other official sources in the public affairs office of the Navy Department at the Pentagon confirm that this powerful armada is scheduled to arrive off the coast of Iran on or around October 21.

The Eisenhower had been in port at the Naval Station Norfolk for several years for refurbishing and refueling of its nuclear reactor; it had not been scheduled to depart for a new duty station until at least a month later, and possibly not till next spring. Family members, before the orders, had moved into the area and had until then expected to be with their sailor-spouses and parents in Virginia for some time yet. First word of the early dispatch of the “Ike Strike” group to the Persian Gulf region came from several angry officers on the ships involved, who contacted antiwar critics like retired Air Force Col. Sam Gardiner and complained that they were being sent to attack Iran without any order from the Congress.

I know I’ve written about this before. A bunch. No, really. Tons. Anyway…

I find it hard to believe that this adminstration would blow away the remaining illusions that we are a constitutional republic. I find it hard to believe that they think this is a good idea. I find it hard to believe that they think attacking Iran shortly before the November elections would help their chances (via the inevitable surge in support for the administration that happens with any military action… in addition to vote rigging, electoral fraud, and voter intimidation of course).

But every time I think they’ve reached the pinnacle (nadir?) of their mendacious amorality and sociopathy, they surprise me.

So I’m guessing an airstrike on Isfahan using low-yield nuclear bombs is going to occur on or about 22 October. This will sandblast the cobwebs off of the image of America as anything other than a rogue banana republic, cement the elimination of “America” the ideal, … and will receive absolutely no significant reaction from the sheeple (tm, someone else) of this country.

I have a friend who thinks that there will be riots in the streets and impeachments. I told him he’s living in a world that no longer exists.

Man, I hope I’m wrong.

Oct 02

Our retarded cousins

You know, those mouthbreathing knuckledraggers living in places like Texas. Anyway, they banded dildos and other sex toys a ways back and the Supreme Court has now twice refused to grant cert

The U.S. Supreme Court refused to question a Texas law that bars the sale of dildos and other “obscene devices,” turning away an appeal by a store clerk facing prosecution.

The justices made no comment in rejecting the appeal, which argued that the law violated a constitutional right to sexual privacy. The court last year turned down a similar challenge to an Alabama law.

Texas is one of a handful of states that ban sexual devices. Courts have upheld laws in Georgia, Mississippi, Alabama and Texas and struck down restrictions in Colorado, Kansas and Louisiana.

Texas bans the manufacture, sale, distribution and promotion of “devices including a dildo or artificial vagina, designed or marked as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs.”

To me, this is an easy Interstate Commerce case (and thus states do not have the power to restrict). I do not know why the plaintiff did not follow this strategy, because if so the State would have to prove that a dildo is the equivalent of guns or drugs.

Whatever. I’m tired of religious fundamentalists taking my country back into the 13th century. Up next: burkhas for all you bitches.

Sep 30

The Betrayal of Our Military by the Bush Administration

The Republicans in Congress — and the White House — should be hounded from office for how they have betrayed the military. From Rumsfeld to Cheney to Rice to Bush, we have seen the arrogant abuse of power — to the detriment of the men and women in our armed services. We have seen career military brass hounded out of the service or forced into silence, because they dared to know more than the cardboard cutouts with no combat experience who are running the Bush Administration and Congress.

USA: Maj. General John Batiste’s testimony before Sen. Democratic Policy Committee

I challenge the American people to get informed and speak out. Remember that the Congress represents and works for the people. Congressional oversight committees have been strangely silent for too long, and our elected officials must step up to their responsibilities or be replaced. This is not about partisan politics, but rather what is good for our country. Our November elections are crucial. Every American needs to understand the issues and cast his or her vote. I believe that one needs to vote for the candidate who understands the issues and who has the moral courage to do the harder right rather than the easier wrong. I for one will continue to speak out until there is accountability, until the American people establish momentum, and until our Congressional oversight committees kick into action. Victory in Iraq is fundamental and we cannot move forward until accountability is achieved.

Thank you.

We’ve given you the tools to fight the War On Terror Mr. President but you’re not using them!


Sep 29


Anna Nicole Smith Weds Howard K. Stern

Anna Nicole Smith married her long-time attorney and close confidante, Howard K. Stern, Thursday just shortly before 10:30 am in Nassau, Bahamas, a source tells Star. The wedding occurred only 18 days after the death of Anna’s son Daniel, 20 [and birth of new child – Grumpy] from an accidental drug overdose in her Nassau hospital room on September 10.

Anna… I’m not trying to tell you what to do or anything, but I was thinking… now may not exactly be the best time to be making big life decisions.

Sep 27

A Diamond in Her Muff

From the stories I never wanted to hear about files…

He may have played nerdy eighth-grader Samuel (Screech) Powers in the sitcom “Saved by the Bell.” But former TV geek Dustin Diamond can now take his place with Colin Farrell, Tommy Lee and Kid Rock as the star of his very own sex tape.

Everyone who remembers Diamond as a lovable putz is in for a shock once they see a 40-minute video in which he engages in a kinky three-way with two women, sources tell us.

We can’t get too graphic here, but word is that the action includes some bodily functions and an act known as a “Dirty Sanchez.”

Other titles… One Night in Screech, Saved by the Ball, Head of the Ass, Screech the Hard Way, Screech My Name, Baby!…