It appears the marriage to stand all time (no, not that one, we knew that one was fake [discussion offline so no linkee][fn1]), the love that burned brighter than a thousand shining points of light reflected in a full spittoon, is no longer.
During the election coverage on Tuesday, the number one news item – in fact, the only news item – running on the ticker was the divorce. It made me wish for an asteroid to hit
the earth the broadcast booths of the media networks.
BritBrit told KFed via text message on his cell phone. That’s OK, that’s the same way he proposed to her.
KFed of the amazingly motile sperm seeks custody. Of course he is, that’s the only way he’s going to get any money. BritBrit should call his bluff if, you know, there weren’t little human beings involved.
Though I find it hard to believe, apparently actual human beings were involved in the writing, production, promotion, and listening to of the following:
I’m sharing it with you both to fuel your genocidal rage and because there are some things you just can’t unremember. This being one of them. And if I have to suffer, so should you.
One has to wonder if the brood mare would have dumped him if his record hadn’t been a bomb and he didn’t have to give away tickets to his shows just to pack the house to 1/3rd capacity. The people’s dislike of the uberweasel was just too big to ignore. Also, BritBrit’s uterus was screaming for a break since, apparently, prophylactics are simply out of the question (His Holiness of the Incredibly Motile Sperm has powers sufficient to destroy any containment device) and taking a pill every day is just too confusing what with having to remember what a day is and all.
Now, back to actual important news.
Call me, Reese. I know you’ve been holding yourself back from flinging yourself at me for years now. I admire your principle and your dedication to that previous relationship. But now that you’re free, you can throw off those shackles society has set upon us and we can be together at last my love.