The War at Home
I returned home in October, 2005, and I went back to teaching in mid-November. Next my family, I missed my students and my classrooms the most during my 17 months away, so I was anxious to get back. I believed that I understood that the transition from Iraq to home would be awkward–after all, I spent a good portion of my 19 years serving with Vietnam vets–but I was confident that it wouldn’t be too bad. I was (am) older than many soldiers sent to Iraq, with a stable family and career; moreover, I didn’t see the worst of Iraq by any stretch of the imagination. I could surely manage any difficulties. What did I have to fear?
Shortly after I went back to work, I began having serious anxiety attacks. Getting out the door in the morning got harder and harder. I had trouble serious trouble being in crowds. Loud noises sent my heart rate through the roof, and I heard explosions in my sleep. I knew I was angry while I was still in Iraq, but I found I could barely contain myself on some occasions now that I was home (though, thankfully, never with students–that would have really scared me). As the weeks passed, it seemed to be getting worse rather than better; I wasn’t handling it well at all. By early December, I knew something was wrong.
Posts like this really show how lacking our country is in good post trauma psychological care. We have far to go in so many areas of medicine of course, but our lack of attention to and care for psychological issues is damnable. I hope more people speak up and I hope we are finally past the stigmas of psychological injuries being somehow less than physical, or signs of weakness.
Agreed. What’s really interesting is the fact that the VA will not fully employ/recognize the Psy.D. – the clinical, practicing doctorate of psychology. Instead, it favors the research based (lab setting) PhD.