Idiotarian rightwing torturgasmic choads

Hello, boys and girls! Are you worried that you might be retarded? Have you begun to question your sanity, or your grip on life?

If so, here are some of the signs to look for:

  1. Do you hold right wing view points?
  2. Do you ever actually think about the dribbling bile that came in through your ear and comes out of your mouth?
  3. Do you display a complete lack of capacity in the fields of logic, reason, and morality?
  4. Is your name Michael Smerconish?

If you have been

This post was spurred by the first few minutes of last night’s Scarborough Country, which I happened to catch because it was on a few minutes after Olberman. This having television thing does have its drawbacks. I think I lost 20 IQ points just in the first 30 seconds.

Thanks for being here. I‘m Michael Smerconish, in again tonight for the big guy, who‘s still feeling under the weather. We start with new details in the brutal murder of two American soldiers in Iraq. In a moment, reaction right here in studio from an American hero and one of the most recognizable faces of the Iraq war. He‘s going to tell us firsthand what a hellish nightmare Iraq can be.

But first: A militant Islamic Web site claims the new leader of al Qaeda in Iraq personally carried out the killings of two soldiers found dead in Baghdad last night. Those bodies showed signs of torture. They were killed in a, quote, “barbaric” way, and American troops had to literally fight their way to the bodies, which were booby-trapped with explosives.

It‘s a horrific story, and as I watch it unfold, I have to ask myself where are the people who worked themselves into a lather about the naked pyramid pictures at Abu Ghraib or those who wanted trials at The Hague because we played Christina Aguilera music a bit too loud for the detainees down at Gitmo. Tonight in America, some are no doubt sitting in barcaloungers kvetching over which American soldiers will next be put on trial for alleged war atrocities, and meanwhile, these dirtbags—they‘re thinking about whose head they want to chop off next.

The stupid! It burnnnnns!

I’m going to try and outline the logic here. If space-time folds upon itself and we all die, then, well… oops.

  1. We invade a country, we torture the prisoners we capture
  2. Moral persons “moonbat lefties” criticize this torture
  3. Criticism == Dissent
  4. Dissent == Treason
  5. Treason == barcalounger. Also, kvetching
  6. Therefore, the lefties should quit complaining about torture. Or they might lose their barcalounger. And why do you hate America?
  7. ???
  8. Profit!

The thing that never fails to amaze me is the hypocrisy of these flip flopping authoritarian bedwetters. Here’s the actual structure of the arguments on the table:

    Moral persons Moonbat Lefties:

  1. Torture is wrong (morally and legally)
  2. Torture is ineffectual
  3. Therefore, torture should not be practiced.

And thus, the depraved, brutal torture and killing of two of our soldiers is wrong, just as we were are wrong to be torturing our prisoners. What the fascist bullies miss is that because we tortured them, we have no moral authority to condemn them when they torture us. This is why we are a signatory to the Geneva Conventions and why we used to follow them; they are as much about protecting us as they are about protecting Them.

    Smeghead logic:

  1. We tortured them
  2. They tortured us (and want to kill us)
  3. Therefore, torture is justified

The position of the Just has been consistent: torture is wrong, no matter who is doing it. For the hypocrites of the right, torture is only bad if it’s the other guy who’s doing it.

Who’s the relativst flip-floppers now, bitches?

As a rejoinder appropriate to the idiotarian’s level, I present to you…
Separated at Birth?
The Smerconehead